Worms in a can re-visited
So when I was out trying to find something tres chic to wear out for New Year’s Eve, I was in a fitting room and I could not help but overhearing the conversation taking place between a mother and daughter. The mother was about my age and the daughter was a teenager. They were discussing a younger daughter. How do I know this? You may ask - well…the conversation was mainly the mother talking about hoping she had not thrown away a coupon to 'Limited Too' (a clothing store that caters to the pre-teen and younger set). Because she did not know where she was going to find a camisole small enough for said younger daughter.
I paused…absorbing this. Here goes…
What the hell is the matter with this picture? I cannot possibly imagine my mother having a similar conversation. First of all, my mom dressed me like a total dweeb. Further, my mother would have never, ever thought to have me wear lingerie as an item of clothing – underwear was strickly worn well, UNDERNEATH our clothing. I remember when my mom finally saw me in a two-piece bikini when I was 14 year old – I thought she was going to have heart failure. (She did but that was a year later – another story, another time).
What I am getting at is the provocative way we seem to dress our daughters. When I was growing up women did not want to be treated as sex objects. I have to wonder what’s changed. I think it was around the 80s when little girls thought it was cool to dress like Madonna – was it cool though? Were the moms back then paying attention? REALLY paying attention? My daughter was too young to be interested in that – and as she grew up she dressed more in baggy clothing, she was not into 'slut-wear' and I don’t think I would have let her dress that way either. But now in clothing stores I see really slutty clothing being sold to little girls and something about this bothers me – a lot. Again I don’t wish to come off as a prude.
Part of this becomes a bit complex for me - a long while back when I 'toyed' with the idea of becoming an attorney, I used to think about crime a lot - especially the crime of rape. I believe that rape is not a crime of passion but a crime of violence against women. (I am sure men have been raped too so don't go jumping on some friggin' soap box over that last comment). At any rate, it angered me when I was growing up that at some point some defense attorney in some rape case (it was a long time ago so I don't have the particulars but I do remember this happening), brought up how the woman was dressed. The fact that she was dressed provocatively, he reasoned, was in a way impetus for his client to have raped her and therefore should be 'let off the hook' or have the sentenced lessened to some degree. To me this is bullshit - it still is. If a woman wants to dress like a slut that's her perogative - it does not mean men should be allowed to commit the crime of rape against her.
But yet I am having issues with how young girls dress today (and when I say young I don't mean 15, 16 and 17-yr olds - although frankly I don't understand allowing them to dress any which way they choose either) but 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 & 12-yr olds...I don't know exactly where we should as parents draw the line here. I mean some perverts 'get off' to Catholic Girl school uniforms - go figure - so perhaps I should not be just out and out condeming provocative dress for young girls...but it's just something that sticks in my craw about the message that gets sent and I can't put my finger on it but again I thought I could use this as a 'forum' of sorts to open it up for discussion. Any of you guys out there (men and/or ladies) have kids? What do you think? And no offense, I REALLY want to know what the men DO think of this. How DO you feel about your little girl (or perhaps your neice etc.) being a sex object?
Just curious gang.
I paused…absorbing this. Here goes…
What the hell is the matter with this picture? I cannot possibly imagine my mother having a similar conversation. First of all, my mom dressed me like a total dweeb. Further, my mother would have never, ever thought to have me wear lingerie as an item of clothing – underwear was strickly worn well, UNDERNEATH our clothing. I remember when my mom finally saw me in a two-piece bikini when I was 14 year old – I thought she was going to have heart failure. (She did but that was a year later – another story, another time).
What I am getting at is the provocative way we seem to dress our daughters. When I was growing up women did not want to be treated as sex objects. I have to wonder what’s changed. I think it was around the 80s when little girls thought it was cool to dress like Madonna – was it cool though? Were the moms back then paying attention? REALLY paying attention? My daughter was too young to be interested in that – and as she grew up she dressed more in baggy clothing, she was not into 'slut-wear' and I don’t think I would have let her dress that way either. But now in clothing stores I see really slutty clothing being sold to little girls and something about this bothers me – a lot. Again I don’t wish to come off as a prude.
Part of this becomes a bit complex for me - a long while back when I 'toyed' with the idea of becoming an attorney, I used to think about crime a lot - especially the crime of rape. I believe that rape is not a crime of passion but a crime of violence against women. (I am sure men have been raped too so don't go jumping on some friggin' soap box over that last comment). At any rate, it angered me when I was growing up that at some point some defense attorney in some rape case (it was a long time ago so I don't have the particulars but I do remember this happening), brought up how the woman was dressed. The fact that she was dressed provocatively, he reasoned, was in a way impetus for his client to have raped her and therefore should be 'let off the hook' or have the sentenced lessened to some degree. To me this is bullshit - it still is. If a woman wants to dress like a slut that's her perogative - it does not mean men should be allowed to commit the crime of rape against her.
But yet I am having issues with how young girls dress today (and when I say young I don't mean 15, 16 and 17-yr olds - although frankly I don't understand allowing them to dress any which way they choose either) but 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 & 12-yr olds...I don't know exactly where we should as parents draw the line here. I mean some perverts 'get off' to Catholic Girl school uniforms - go figure - so perhaps I should not be just out and out condeming provocative dress for young girls...but it's just something that sticks in my craw about the message that gets sent and I can't put my finger on it but again I thought I could use this as a 'forum' of sorts to open it up for discussion. Any of you guys out there (men and/or ladies) have kids? What do you think? And no offense, I REALLY want to know what the men DO think of this. How DO you feel about your little girl (or perhaps your neice etc.) being a sex object?
Just curious gang.
3 Comments:
I remember going into American Eagle one day last summer and just kinda browsing. I then noticed this girl, who was no more than 13 or 14 wearing a skirt that...well...if she was to lean toward the retail counter you would have seen her woo-ha. All I can remember thinking is "If that were my daughter I'd be kickin' her scrawny ass". I really can't understand it. Even mothers putting makeup on there kids (like I'm talking about kindergarden kids) for school pictures or for social kid parties. I wasn't even allowed to wear nail polish until I was sixteen! Let alone wear makeup!
I know one thing...my kid ain't going to be wearing ANYTHING CLOSE to what kids seem to be sporting today. Nope...she is going to be wearing turtlenecks and cord pants and those little sailor dresses with heavy wool tights like I used to have to wear. Said and done.
Okay so maybe I wont be that harsh...but I sure as hell wont be letting my little girl show off her woo-ha....
background: i am a twenty-five year old, former catholic school girl.
i agree w/ your opinion about how young women are dressing today. for example, i am a bit apalled at certain actresses, just out of high school, yet they are already being called "it" girls. (e.g. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Lindsay Lohan) what apalls me most of all is how their parents don't seem to mind. of course, it always bothers me when I go to Wal-mart and the clothes in the girl's section are just as sexy, if not sexier, than those in the women's section. our standards have definitely dropped. does it affect our morals? i'm not too sure. as for the school-girl obsession...i think that comes mostly from Japanese culture and anime. the whole May/December relationship appears more and more possible nowadays w/ the way that we approach sex. even swingers are getting into the mainstream. i'm not sure if your looking for the culprit in all of this, but i have always used the media as a scapegoat.
Col,
You shold write to me off-line sometime - I'd like to compare my experience of being a former Catholic school girl with yours, since there is a bit of an age difference.
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No I am not looking for a 'scape-goat' as it were. We are all guilty of it if you ask me. I mean I've never let my sense of fashion be dictated to me by anyone other than me...I might see something 'cool' or 'artsy' that someone is wearing and ask...but that's about it and I certainly never let it dictate how I dressed my kids....
As far as anime etc. being to blame for the 'school girl thing' I don't consider that to be the media or even main stream - I DO consider it to be driven by men (sorry but that just slipped out) and perverted a bit too if you ask (not that you have). I can't help it - I htink there is something wrong with lusting after young, young girls when you are say in your 30s, 40s etc. I get the whole May-December thing that's been around forever...but I guess it just seems so 'in your face' these days...
Oh and one last observation - isn't it funny how no men DID comment on this post at all - and I KNOW there are men out there who read my blog....
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