Update...
A quick update for those of you concerned.
I AM OK.
I am sad, I am angry, I am hurting. I cry often and for no apparent reason – I feel this is normal.
Part of me wants someone (preferably a total stranger that I just meet by chance - or through a friend) to come along and sweep me off of my feet….and yet I am terrified of this happening to me. I am scared that I will fall in love, I will be vulnerable and I will not be ‘safe’.
I am reading a wonderful book now, (aside form the ones I’ve listed), called 'Taming your Gremlin"…it was a suggestion from Linda (again thank God for Linda) – and it’s been helpful and funny and really hits the nail on the head about ‘getting out of your own way’. I used to always tell my daughter that she was sabotaging her own success – little did I know where she picked up that trait...(mirror, mirror). We all do it to some extent and it’s so stupid and fruitless.
Ok so this is just the start of something and I will write more maybe even tonight…if I have time. About all sorts of things….I don’t want to neglect this.
As ever,
Colette
************************************************************************************
Continuing on....
So it been a bit of a roller coaster for me lately. I have pretty much cut everyone off except those people I have to deal with. I just am not real good to anyone right now. I feel useless and beaten down.
Last night I watched White Oleander and I cried my eyes out but I can't figure out if it was the movie or me....
Tonight I have to pack I am leaving for Michigan - my daughter is getting married this weekend and I should be joyous.
Last weekend I went to a friend's wedding...I was miserable - I begin to hate weddings but I have to put on the happy face. I have to not cry. Luckily I can blame my crying on the fact it's my daughter and I really will be crying for that reason - at least for part of it....
More when I return
I AM OK.
I am sad, I am angry, I am hurting. I cry often and for no apparent reason – I feel this is normal.
Part of me wants someone (preferably a total stranger that I just meet by chance - or through a friend) to come along and sweep me off of my feet….and yet I am terrified of this happening to me. I am scared that I will fall in love, I will be vulnerable and I will not be ‘safe’.
I am reading a wonderful book now, (aside form the ones I’ve listed), called 'Taming your Gremlin"…it was a suggestion from Linda (again thank God for Linda) – and it’s been helpful and funny and really hits the nail on the head about ‘getting out of your own way’. I used to always tell my daughter that she was sabotaging her own success – little did I know where she picked up that trait...(mirror, mirror). We all do it to some extent and it’s so stupid and fruitless.
Ok so this is just the start of something and I will write more maybe even tonight…if I have time. About all sorts of things….I don’t want to neglect this.
As ever,
Colette
************************************************************************************
Continuing on....
So it been a bit of a roller coaster for me lately. I have pretty much cut everyone off except those people I have to deal with. I just am not real good to anyone right now. I feel useless and beaten down.
Last night I watched White Oleander and I cried my eyes out but I can't figure out if it was the movie or me....
Tonight I have to pack I am leaving for Michigan - my daughter is getting married this weekend and I should be joyous.
Last weekend I went to a friend's wedding...I was miserable - I begin to hate weddings but I have to put on the happy face. I have to not cry. Luckily I can blame my crying on the fact it's my daughter and I really will be crying for that reason - at least for part of it....
More when I return
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The greatest gift you can give yourself is permission just to be.
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