Dancing on Colette's Grave: 06/01/2011

A Plea...

I have never asked for money on this blog....never. Until now.

My friend, Jerry Clair who touched my life and the lives of so many others, died this weekend. He was only 52 years old. He suffered a lot before he passed away. It was very hard watching him waste away. It was hard watching what this did to his family.

There has been a fund set up to help pay for his final medical bills and his funeral expenses. This is a non-profit memorial fund and anything left over will be donated to a charity or go to help someone else to get a liver transplant (or to help them while they are waiting for their transplant). Jerry never got his transplant. Please help his family if you can. I know times are tough right now, but every little bit will help. If you are local and can make it to the benefit that would be great. If you are unable to make the benefit and can spare some money to donate that would help too. No one is making any money off of this....we are just trying to help pay for all the medical bills and for Jerry's funeral.

Here is the link with the information: Jerry's Last Stand

If you were standing here in front of me, I'd grovel. I am begging you to help if you can.

Thank you and God/dess bless you.

C~

Labels: Charity, Mr. C, Organ Donation

PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

PassiveAggressiveNotes.com

Because I REALLY needed a laugh today...

A Eulogy for Mr. C~

James Jerome "Jerry" Clair
November 27, 1958 - June 26, 2011
Rest In Peace

**************

In the wee hours of the morning, I lost a piece of my soul. We were never meant to be together romantically but I loved this man and cared about him in those places in the heart that are only reserved for certain people. He will always have that part of me...

We met at the tail end of 2004 on Yahoo's dating site. The first time we met was to go have coffee - he reached out and gently touched my cheek and brushed the hair out of my eyes. It was not 'lustful' but I think it was one of the most tender moments I have ever experienced.

He was like me, he was restless and searching. He was a Buddhist and he totally got how I felt about spirituality. He understood my sarcasm, my pessimism/cynicism because he too shared those qualities. He was honest with me - brutally so at times. Yet, I needed that then (I still do). His plan was to go to China and find a woman and so he manned up and told me that. I was beginning to really like him and it was hard to accept but that is what I did and I think I got the better end of the deal. I got to be his friend.

Eventually, I met an amazing man and was swept off of my feet and married. Eventually, Mr. C~ moved to China and started a new life there and found a woman to be happy with.

We stayed in touch even with him continents away. It was Jerry I turned to when my son was struggling with addiction. Jerry was my touchstone...

At the tail end of last year (2010) Jerry came back home. He had been getting ill in China and whatever he was dealing with seemed serious. He had lost a lot of weight. This visit was supposed to be a 'holiday' visit and he was to return back to China to a new contract position. He never got to go back to his beloved Asia....

By April, he had been listed for a liver transplant. He was SO very ill. He had lost so much weight. He looked skin and bones. I was frightened for him. I think we all were. We were all hoping against hope that he would receive that gift of life and get better. I started seeing him as much as my schedule would allow - spending time just being with him and trying to help his daughter - who has managed to stay strong through all of this. Mr. C~ raised some pretty amazing kids. Jerry and I had some deep conversations and some not-so-deep conversations.

At one point I was teasing him about us not getting together. He reminded me that I had a wonderful and handsome husband and that he would have been a shitty husband. I gently told him he would not have been a shitty husband. He said "but look at how ugly I am - I look like one of those Ethiopian kids!" - No, Jerry, I said - you look better than those kids...you don't have flies all over you...

Over the past days and weeks, the weather seemed to reflect the gloominess we all were feeling...the clouds glowering, raining almost EVERY SINGLE DAY. As I entered the hospital on the occasion of what was to be the last time I would see Jerry, a mother and her newborn were being wheeled to the door, the new mom beaming with joy. I smiled and congratulated her and then walked as quickly as I could to the coffee place (I've been living on coffee), crying because somewhere, I knew Jerry would not be leaving this place alive....the circle of life a mystery I am kind of sick of contemplating.

In the end...he railed at God. He was angry. He was restless. We tried our best to be there and to lend comfort and support. I hope it eased his pain and fear.

Jerry taught me not to hold on to my fear. Like him, I still struggle, I don't succeed. But like him, I know the truth of it. Thank you Mr. C~ for being my friend. Thank you for loving me back. I hope you are at peace and are enjoying the misty mountains of China and those gorgeous women.

Today, the gloom lifted and the sun came out...it is the first truly glorious day since summer started - a fitting tribute to an amazing soul.

Wǒ huì xiǎngniàn nǐ (I will miss you)

See you on the other side, my friend.

Labels: Mr. C