Life in 'Pleasantville'....
Musing...when aren't I musing/mulling things over...sometimes I want my brain to just stop. Sometimes it's just crammed full of so much shit I can't seem to get past the noise to think....my own fault for not practising more Yoga and so help me Vishnu that is going to change....
We've been watching a lot of movies lately. One of the recent viewings was a movie that Erin had never seen: 'Pleasantville' - great flick.
In thinking about whether or not to keep up on this blog, this movie helped me a lot. I realised that part of the reason I wanted to stop was because of censorship....which is something I despise. Yet, when you are in a relationship, sometimes you blurt things out that you don't necessarily think before uttering, or without meaning to, somehow hurt the other person's feelings. I have never been really good at 'keeping my thoughts to myself'/being tame/being a 'Stepford Wife' and it occurs to me that I don't want to start being any of that anytime soon...not that Erin makes me feel that way...it's just that I've entered 'couplehood'...there's a certain implied mind-set I suppose...I don't want to censor myself or be stifled. I don't want to hurt anyone, but how I think, how I feel is simply that, ME - not anyone else....so I guess it's a cross for me to bear if I am going to be...well....me....
We all seem to long for simpler times...but is that what we are really 'missing' from our lives? Or is it we just don't feel comfy in our own skins? Are we buying into some picture-perfect way life should be just because it's how we've been told it should be? Are we longing for things to make up for our own perceived (and very possibly misguided) ideals of what our lives must certainly be lacking? Does the Pursuit of Happiness mean throwing babies out with bathwater? What does the pursuit of the perfect life entail and is there such a thing?
I watched my mom struggle with a lot of things - not how to keep a clean house or cook a decent meal, but how my dad seemed to live his life and how that in turn impacted us as a family. I wonder if by marrying him she gave up a better life for herself. But back then, people didn't talk about such things and of course my mother's generation did something called 'stay in your marriage no matter what.' Today, the exact opposite seems to happen - we look for every escape route, things don't last and if they do they seem to settle into a routine that the word mundane simply doesn't do justice to....we become intimate strangers - we live our separate lives and try to figure out how to balance the addition of another human being into the sphere of our own existence without losing those essentials of our being. Some of us simply disappear into the other...not that for some of us it's that great of a loss - hell in some cases, it's probably an improvement. Again, it's all about that precarious balance and hoping your footing is sure so you don't tumble off that cliff into the nothingness of obscurity....
Yeah...something like that...
We've been watching a lot of movies lately. One of the recent viewings was a movie that Erin had never seen: 'Pleasantville' - great flick.
In thinking about whether or not to keep up on this blog, this movie helped me a lot. I realised that part of the reason I wanted to stop was because of censorship....which is something I despise. Yet, when you are in a relationship, sometimes you blurt things out that you don't necessarily think before uttering, or without meaning to, somehow hurt the other person's feelings. I have never been really good at 'keeping my thoughts to myself'/being tame/being a 'Stepford Wife' and it occurs to me that I don't want to start being any of that anytime soon...not that Erin makes me feel that way...it's just that I've entered 'couplehood'...there's a certain implied mind-set I suppose...I don't want to censor myself or be stifled. I don't want to hurt anyone, but how I think, how I feel is simply that, ME - not anyone else....so I guess it's a cross for me to bear if I am going to be...well....me....
We all seem to long for simpler times...but is that what we are really 'missing' from our lives? Or is it we just don't feel comfy in our own skins? Are we buying into some picture-perfect way life should be just because it's how we've been told it should be? Are we longing for things to make up for our own perceived (and very possibly misguided) ideals of what our lives must certainly be lacking? Does the Pursuit of Happiness mean throwing babies out with bathwater? What does the pursuit of the perfect life entail and is there such a thing?
I watched my mom struggle with a lot of things - not how to keep a clean house or cook a decent meal, but how my dad seemed to live his life and how that in turn impacted us as a family. I wonder if by marrying him she gave up a better life for herself. But back then, people didn't talk about such things and of course my mother's generation did something called 'stay in your marriage no matter what.' Today, the exact opposite seems to happen - we look for every escape route, things don't last and if they do they seem to settle into a routine that the word mundane simply doesn't do justice to....we become intimate strangers - we live our separate lives and try to figure out how to balance the addition of another human being into the sphere of our own existence without losing those essentials of our being. Some of us simply disappear into the other...not that for some of us it's that great of a loss - hell in some cases, it's probably an improvement. Again, it's all about that precarious balance and hoping your footing is sure so you don't tumble off that cliff into the nothingness of obscurity....
Yeah...something like that...
Labels: Life
posted by Colette at 11:08 AM
3 comments
