Blowing a gasket

This brilliant piece of advice was listed as a way to 'prevent' tantrums:

"Use distraction. It's amazing how well this can work, if you do it at the first sign of trouble. Before your child gets really upset about not being able to play with a particular toy, swoop in with a different one and make a big deal out of it ("Wow, look at this truck! It makes noises and everything!"). Quickly suggest playing on the slide when someone gets to the last swing before you. Sometimes doing something really unexpected, such as breaking into song, or doing the Chicken Dance, does the trick. Take advantage of your child's short attention span."

Um...OK, let me get this straight - we have an entire country who suffers (apparently) from ADD & ADHD - so as a way to get tantrums to stop we are going to encourage that which plagues us and causes problems in the long run for the kid AND adults.

Yep - makes perfect sense to me....

People are fucking assholes.

Ici repose: Colette

Ici repose: Colette

There's a story - a history to this blog. (Duh - obviously). During the beginning times (Goddess that's like over 3 years ago). It was a dark place indeed - ergo the title 'Dancing on Colette's Grave'. Since then , well I won't claim it's all light and airy - but I am definitely in a better place and have been for a while now. Still, at the bottom of the page housing the current posts on this blog is a picture of the grave site of dearest Colette - so as to remind me for one of the journey and indeed one day - the journey's ultimate end (LOL).

One of my blog friends is a gentleman named 'Tribe' - we have been chatting it up for a while now and he has witnessed a lot, and even gotten to know me - the *real* me - over these years.

Well, recently Mr. Tribe took the lovely Mrs. Tribe on a trip to Paris (I am SO jealous - and all of my attempts to cajole him into letting me stow-away in the luggage didn't work at all *pouts* - but I digress...).

At any rate, Mr. Tribe was kind enough to send me a picture of the grave of Colette - after whom I take my nom de plume as well as made into the patron Saint/Goddess of this blog...

So to my dear 'Cheri' Tribe, I want to say: Merci bien, et Je t'aime (but only in the way one loves a dear, cherished friend). Alors a salut Monsieur Tribe!

Cake Wrecks

Look out! It's a 'Cake Wreck'!

(LOL - thank you C2 for providing comic relief)

Cleveland SUCKS!

(in stark contrast to that oh-so-famous song claiming 'Cleveland Rocks')....

...yeah

So anyways....Erin and I decided to go out beginning Friday night after work. We had a drink with my manager and then we went to dinner downtown, hoping afterwards to find a club so we could dance.

Years ago, 'The Flats' was the place to be...now, it's just a ghost town....

There are plenty of bars and club-like places in the Warehouse District, unfortunately, thing apparently don't get started until sometime after 11PM or midnight - which is fine - but for the most part, even if things do get started then, I am not sure we'd find anything other than the 20-somethings getting drunk and trying to pick each other up....

We decided to go again on Saturday - this time we would begin much later and hope to find an interesting venue. We got to 'The Grid' around 11PM - it was dead - this was a pretty happening club at one point, mixed crowd, now it just seems to be a gay hook-up place (which is fine but I was hoping for a little bit more of a dance club atmosphere).

Since we were dressed for it, the next stop was 'The Chamber' - in Lakewood, OH. Nominally better crowd - however they all seemed to be under-aged and the music became annoying shortly after the dancing started. And what the fuck is up with the glow sticks???? Highlight of this adventure was running into an old friend. Oh yeah and Mr. C~ if you are reading this I am going to kick your butt! You should have come out with us - that would have made the evening much better - besides, I am holding your CD for hostage (LOL).

Anyhow I am convinced that if you really want to go clubbing, you need to arrive at midnight OR, you need to go to another city...I'm thinking I need another city at this point....

On the much brighter side, I spent a wonderful weekend with the love of my life, my husband, connecting on so very many levels as usual. Thanks baby, I always have fun when I get to be with you.

Let me count the ways...

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..."
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning (1806-1861)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

********

I have not been 'corny' in a while on here....so I am being so now...

I love Erin with all my heart.

There are things he does for me that no one has EVER done. No one ever even cared to do - yet he does them - they come naturally to him. He does them without thinking, without question - it just is him.

Like tomorrow he is going to go to a Yoga class with me. Like how he cooks dinner for me AND ENJOYS DOING SO. He cleans the house, he does the repair work. He shares thoughts, ideas, comics with me. He wants to include me in his life (and his children's as well).

He is in a description Oooh La La...and then some....

Judge: Girl's name, Talula Does The Hula, won't do - Yahoo! News

Judge: Girl's name, Talula Does The Hula, won't do

Suddenly it just hits you...

...like a hurricane....

Thoughts, mumbly-pegs, fragments of consciousness..streaming in and out...

********

I am tyring to detox my body (unsuccessfully I might add)...and sometimes I think that your body just doesn't WANT to listen...sometimes your body has a mind of it's own (LOL no pun intended)...like how can I be a writer, calling myself by the nom de plume, Colette, and NOT have a chocolate croissant and coffee with a hint of cinnamon for my breakfast (shit if i was living in Paris, I'd have a cigarette too...)...

And, it's not that I think my body is betraying me...perhaps my body feels it NEEDS this stuff (no, I am not trying to 'lie' to myself...)sometimes I think we have a tendency to go overboard with change - we don't take it slowly so it will last...we just rush in and want to throw out babies with bathwater...

*******

My compassion is cutting me like a razor-sharp knife. I see people suffering and I just want to cry - like one of our dear friends (and part of the problem is that he looks so much like my son - but the other part is that I have been where he is right now on an oh-so-intimate level that my heart is literally breaking for him and I just want to hold him and comfort him (like a mom would) and tell him it will all be OK...but in all honesty I don't know that it will)...

Like the woman as I was walking from the bus-stop to work this morning in her wheel chair and I can tell she is homeless and mentally ill and she is calling out to the passersby (who are mainly ignoring her) - to get moving before it storms...and I want to find her shelter and help her...

These things leave me shattered, hurting, aching because I feel I should be doing something about it (like yesterday when I gave a woman $5 cause she told me she needed bus fare - but in all reality probably didn't)....

********

When I boot up my lap-top every morning at work, the first thing that greets me is the picture of Erin and I kissing as husband and wife for the first time...I spent most of this morning relating our love story to one of our co-workers and I think about our 'story' and suddenly the struggles we've been having seem so far away.

They say that the first year of marriage is one of the hardest and I agree - not because you don't love one another but because you are trying to adjust, to find that ever-elusive balance with one another. You go from being madly, passionately in love to the 'business' of householding (not that we are not madly in love). I often point out that life has a nasty way of intruding. Between truly stressful job situations, (which I think is frankly killing both of us and not leaving us the ability to be light-hearted and fun these days..I am worried about him and it shows) and just the day-to-day mundane crap - sometimes things get lost...

So, when I get to recount how we met, fell in love, and our journey from that point, it warms my heart and reminds me why we got married and why it's all so important and just how much I really love my husband.

********

Life, is such a jumble sometimes...and no matter how much we want to tame it, control it, bend it to our whims...things just don't work that way...sometimes you just have to let go and yes, let God/Dess...

Mixed Media

(What C's been reading, watching, listening to....)

********

I began reading this amazing book on my honeymoon - it was actually, probably not a good choice because it is in someways a lament about loss during marriage break-up and subsequent divorce, but it is also brilliantly and humorously written and I recommend Ms. Gilbert's personal account of her life-changing journey whole-heartedly...(it may change your life as well..)



OK. Gruesome but really wicked and bizarre - however, the ending is like WHAT.THE.FUCK. - so yeah probably 2 thumbs down from my perspective...



This book may change your life...for years now I have known the truth of a lot of what is contained in the pages of this book - it is a no-nonsense tirade on how to get skinny (bitch!) - however it is also (IMO) a rant about becoming a vegan. At times I want to ask 'well shit ladies should we even be drinking the water?' However, I DO recommend this book if you need a real bite of a reality sandwich and of course I DO recommend becoming at least a vegetarian - that in and of itself will help you to lose weight - if you truly insist on having to eat animal fat and protein perhaps you should visit a slaughterhouse to cure yourself of the urge....



Finally the soundtrack....

(That's MR Dylan to you, Bob)



For some semblance of classiness on my part (LOL)...



The Russians are coming, the Russians are coming...



...and. last, but not least, one of MY personal and fav obsessions...

When yoga harms rather than heals - Fitness - MSNBC.com

When yoga harms rather than heals - Fitness - MSNBC.com

This was sent to me by Liam who thought of me (I am worried now that he thinks poorly of me as a teacher.)

At any rate I do have a very strong opinion about this subject and (no pun intended) it is a sore subject for me...

There seems is a frenzy in the fitness industry to churn out Yoga teachers (I am guessing because of the Yoga 'craze'). First of all the word yoga and craze should never be in the same sentence. PERIOD. Secondly, churning out anything as if it were a factory is wrong. But especially so when it comes to Yoga. You can't make a Yoga teacher in 6-weekend session classes. Not at all. To me at least - it takes YEARS to make a Yoga teacher. I have been studying Yoga since I was 17 years old - and while most people do not take on a life-long study the way I did, all that aside, it took me 2.5 years to train to become a Yoga teacher. The 6 months were spent 'student teaching'. I had to read over 20 books, take countless hours of classes, theorum, anatomy, physiology, ethics, philosophy, nutrition, psychology, AND practicum - I had a very, very intensive training not some 'learn Yoga in your spare time' bullshit. I was drilled over and over about the importance of keeping students safe, and the HARM NONE (Ahimsa) philosophy. I was not allowed to teach until my teachers (gurus) felt *I* was ready. All in all it was a journey - not a lark.

Now to teach and tell - something I don't want to really do but in defense of my colleagues I feel I must.

People/Students are idiots. Not all of them certainly - but a lot of them. If I had a nickle for every time a student didn't listen, or was way too eager to get that 'Yoga butt', or to achieve a perfect pose, or to compete - I would not have to teach. I have taught literally hundreds of students. For the most part I adored my students but let me give you an example of how horribly awry things can go for us on the teaching end of the classroom. Before I beginning this 'tirade' I want to let you know that as Yoga teachers one of the first things we are taught to ask our students is if they have any problems or injuries we need to be aware of in order to help them in class. In Yoga Journal magazine there is a cartoon ad for insurance that depicts a Yoga teacher asking a class full of students with bandaged heads and on crutches who all shout out they have no problems...yeah go figure - it's why we need to carry millions of dollars worth of insurance.

When you take any physical class you should come prepared. This means wearing proper clothes and perhaps bringing proper equipment. When I taught I sent e-mails to my students beforehand or spoke with them on the phone explaining what they needed to wear and bring to class. So imagine my surprise when I had a student (with whom I had had this conversation), show up in 'street clothes' (she was dressed for work in a professional office), heels, and as her Yoga mat she decided to use her winter coat (which was constructed of that slippery microfiber crap) - in essence this was a recipe for injury and as her TEACHER I politely told her she needed to remove her shoes and NOT use her coat - instead since we had indoor/outdoor non-skid carpeting in the room she would need to go without the mat for that session.

The very next day, I resent her the e-mail I send all students telling them how to prepare for class - I also said I would being extra mats just in case she needed one.

The next session this same student showed up STILL dressed inappropriately for class and this time her Yoga 'mat' was a garbage bag. I gave her a Yoga mat and took away her garbage bag. After class was over I asked her to stay so I oculd speak to her - I told her she needed to follow instructions not because I am a control freak but for her own SAFETY. I was nice but firm. She never showed up for class again (thank Shiva). Did this make me happy? No, I wanted the student in class - but more so I wanted her safe and I wanted her not to set a bad example for the other students. As a teacher I NEED to make sure above all my students are OK/safe - then comes enjoyment and helping them achieve their goals as Yoga practitioners.

There are, I am sure, a lot of stories like this on both sides of the Yoga fence. I just felt the need to place mine out there in the universe and try to perhaps initiate some understanding between students and teachers so perhaps injuries become something that never takes place in classes anywhere ever again (wishful thinking but so be it).

Namaste,
C~

Joyeaux "Fête Nationale"

Bastille Day - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Viva La France!

A beintot mes amis....

Colette

More than meets the eye...

Tug-of-war in the shape of emotions…just trying to sort them all through.

My stuff is still over and my old house (yes I blame myself mostly for this – but it’s also due to circumstances and how I am feeling about ‘invading’ Erin’s house…sure this is also on me – I don’t mean to imply he’s not be more than welcoming…)

There’s an adjustment involved here…getting married shifted things and it’s not that it changed how I feel about my love – it’s just the ‘idea’ of being married and adjusting to life as Mrs. G~.

Everything is about adjustment, change, balancing the change and not letting it interfere with equilibrium…how do we do that.

I suddenly – overnight it would seem, have become a 'step-mom' – something that there was no ‘primer’ for - other than just hanging out with the kids prior. There’s no preparing you for that responsibility when it hits you full force…

There’s the feeling that I almost became too close for my own comfort level and perhaps the best thing to do is pull back a bit and regroup...defining my boundaries, respecting theirs, as if we are all countries to be invaded or occupied...or wave a white flag to in hopes of a lasting peace.

Too complex you say? Ya think? It IS complex, delicate, and more than anything I want to be cognizant and aware - while at the same time, trying not to want to run for my life out of sheer fear that I might very well fuck everything up (again – you know...the way I ALWAYS do…)

Jesus help me…

Joy (redux)...

...and this morning...after the hectic-ness of getting a lunch packed, and her hair brushed and put in a pony-tail...as K~ was hugging me good-bye she whispered she was glad her daddy found me...

yeah - I ran out of there sobbing like a baby...(*sighs*)

Marx brothers....

Joy...

Comes to me in different ways/waves....

This particular incident happened in of all places, a restaurant, and, it was due to Erin's children - and just the feeling of becoming a 'family' part of something bigger than myself - all over again.

We were sitting in the restaurant Friday night - waiting to order food. J~, Erin's son mentioned that he needed some 'boy time' - time away from girls because for the past two weeks he had been surrounded by 'girls' - he began ticking off the 'culprits' - his mom, his sister K~. I chimed in, adding my self and he said no. I chuckled and said something to the affect of 'not being a girl eh?' To which he responded, 'Yeah, but you're fun!' His sister then agreed 'You ARE fun...'

With nearly tears in my eyes, I told them both that that was probably the nicest thing anyone has ever told me - and it was. What a high compliment. I was thrilled to hear that the kids who are now fully entrenched in my life, and I in theirs...find me to be 'fun' - I am sure my own children didn't think I was all that much fun back in the day (LOL probably still don't) - and perhaps this will change with Erin's children as my role changes, as the kids get older...but for now, knowing I am 'OK' to hang out with brings me a great amount of joy...

And now...

...for something completely different - I can't believe I even found this - this has to be my all-time fav cartoon....check it out...and SMILE!

The Website Is Down

The Website Is Down

Via C2 (*evil as ever*)

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of....

(miserableness?) So what is it - do you feel our forefathers (no foremothers (and BTW, as I type the word foremothers I am being shown that it is mis-spelled, meanwhile forefathers isn't - go figure) - apparently had a say...except perhaps in that way reserved for women back in those days....negligible I am guessing) MEANT for us to be in the mess we are in now? With people barely scraping by, homelessness, unemployment, and foreclosures rising? Now is the summer of our discontent - what ever shall we do about this?

"When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world."