And I will always feel this way...

I had written a piece about the shows I had seen recently on PBS - but forgot to e-mail it to myself so it will have to wait until another time...

**********

Tonight I was driving home - I'd been suffering all day with a migraine - barely making it through work - I gave up after just 1/2 a day and left. I don't know where this headache came from (change of weather, hormones), but it really put a dent in my day. When I left work, it was gorgeous out and I decided to run some errands and then grabbed a bite to eat.

By the time I was making my way home, the sun was getting ready to set and although I don't usually enjoy driving (that is unless I am driving a really nice machine), it was just gorgeous out and the sun had everything a-glow and I was listening to the soundtrack from 'Practical Magic' and the song was one of my favourites:

Crystal - by Stevie Nicks

Do you always trust your first initial feeling
Special knowledge holds truth bears believing
I turned around
And the water was closing all around
Like a glove
Like the love that had finally, finally found me
Then I knew
In the crystalline knowledge of you
Drove me thru the mountains
Thru the crystal-like clear water fountain
Drove me like a magnet
To the sea

How the faces of love have changed turning
the pages
And I have changed oh, but you...you remain
ageless
I turned around
And the water was closing all around
Like a glove
Like the love that had finally, finally found me
Then I knew
In the crystalline knowledge of you
Drove me thru the mountains
Thru the crystal-like clear water fountain
Drove me like a magnet
To the sea

Out of the corner of my eye I could see a VW Bus and a really cute younger guy driving and sitting alongside of him was his yellow Labrador. And just for one brief moment I was filled with such a feeling of happiness and power (don't ask me why on the power thing but it was there and it was a beautiful feeling, not harsh or mean-spirited - more of a rejoicing).

I began to realise that I don't need all this dating crap anymore - that I am an attractive, powerful womyn (no that is not a spelling error) - that I have a power in me and a knowledge of love and passion and magic that goes beyond all this tiresome crap on the Internet and even out in what passes these days for the 'real' world; And that nothing, not a broken marriage, not a dip-shit who did not appreciate me for what I was, not these idiots out there, not the people I am forced to deal with; not even the moments of doubt and sadness that I've had and will surely have again - can take my true nature away from me. And I knew in that moment that I will always be and feel this way - deep down inside where it counts. Thank Goddess.

From Mr. C

There's a reason why I love this man - this was sent to me in an e-mail entitled "Incredible Houston damage in photo...." I mean it's just too hysterical. Grant it this picture was forwarded to him but it's like there's this little group of us that share the same sick sense of humour...yeah, yeah we ought to be taken out and shot...

But in the meantime...ain't we got fun?

*evil grin*

 

S. African gets life sentence for feeding man to lions

CNN.com - S. African gets life sentence for feeding man to lions - Sep 30, 2005

Well....he had to get rid of the body somehow, didn't he?

(I know really bad taste theatre here. Bad, Colette, bad!)- but I sort of needed a counterpoint to the 'way-too-cute' puppy story

Puppy, Owner Reunited After Katrina

Puppy, Owner Reunited After Katrina - KNBC-TV - MSNBC.com

...and now for the cute, tear-jerker, puppy story (and yes this DID bring tears to my eyes)

Rita Wiped Us Out. Wanna Buy a T-Shirt?

Rita Wiped Us Out. Wanna Buy a T-Shirt?

Hey somebody check this out...let me know what you think.

And if it's on the 'up and up' which I am sure it is....buy a T-Shirt!
It's a brilliant way to help these people.

Summer sings its swan song

It's the end of summer. I am sad to see it go - I was always a bit wistful when this time would come around, growing up as well...

I love the fall - with it's crisp days and cold night - but once again I face another dark season with no one to really keep me warm. Not sure what the universe is trying to tell me here.

I also enjoy winter - the solitude is good - but now it begins to fray me a bit around the edges and I feel more lonely. I wish I could just shake all of these feelings but I refuse to be put on drugs to ease melancholy because I feel it's part of life too. This is going to sound awful but I'd rather just kick the crap out of someone (cause yes the anger is here with me as well) - pretty nice coming from a woman claiming to be a pacifist, eh? But it's here and my level of being fed up is holding court currently - I mean with everything and everyone I encounter these days. I am just sick of all of the constant barrage of crap. Daily. It never seems to go away...from the political bullshit and morons in charge of this country, that I onced loved but now am thinking it's time to get out of here before it's too late; to the idiots I am forced to work with and serve; to the losers that are 'back in the saddle again' and trying to date at the same time I am....

I am not saying another human in my life as a love interest would ease this necessarily - but part of me thinks it might make it easier. Just to help take the edge off a little.

From Mr. Hess

Not sure how Kermit relates to Colette - um not at all, really....but it's the thought that counts

 

Cynthia Lennon: In her own write

CNN.com - Cynthia Lennon: In her own write - Sep 29, 2005

Well I can't say I would not be interested in what the 'other' wife of John had to say. I am sure it will be good summer reading.

DeLay indicted, will step aside as majority leader

CNN.com - DeLay indicted, will step aside as majority leader - Sep 28, 2005

As I said I am behind in posting...let's get this guy out of there.

Frankly I keep thinking about where I want to go after my son graduates...it's looking more and more like a different country altogether...

Behind

...on my postings. I have a lot of things to post - probably not too much to write about other than the experience in Minneapolis and more fun with morons of the dating arena - neither are stellar no matter how you view it.

Oh the horror!

From C2 - this blurb goes with the link below....

*************************************
Ice-T to produce Hasselhoff rap album
Ice-T is to produce David Hasselhoff's first hip-hop album.

The pair are neighbours in Los Angeles and are said to have struck up a close friendship.

Hasselhoff has had some success as a singer, releasing seven albums. He's also said to be very popular in Germany.

Ice-T, who was one of the first real hip-hop stars in the late 1980s, said: "The man is a legend. And we are going to show a whole new side of him."

The rapper is said to be convinced that the 51-year-old for Knight Rider and Baywatch actor can take on the biggest names in rap, reports The Sun.

Ice-T added: "He's gonna come out as Hassle The Hoff - I promise you. The Hoff will surprise people with his rap skills and humour."

David Hasselhoff: Hooked on a Feeling

IFILM - Music Videos: David Hasselhoff: Hooked on a Feeling

From C2 - see blurb above as well...

All work and no play make Colette a dull girl

Tomorrow, I am taking a flight to Minneapolis, Minnesota - home to (amongst other delights) - 'THE MALL OF AMERICA" - geez I wish my blog had reverb... *laughs*

I am actually going for a work conference but the woman I am going with is going to drag me out to shop - women are good at that.

So I guess I should finish packing and get to bed.

Full detailed report when I get back. Leave on the lights for me.

A bientot mes amis

Colette

 

'A Hard Rain's A Gonna Fall'

It's been a rough week in the way of losses.

My son turned 17 years old this week - he's losing his childhood and trading it in for manhood - this involves wins and losses - I am proud of him and I am glad to say I helped raise him.

One of the girls at work who was about 8 months pregnant - found out on Friday last that she had lost her baby. The baby just died inside of her - no one knows why. This girl is my daughter's age and for some reason finding out about her loss hit me real hard - I started crying...

On Monday evening (the same day as my son's birthday) we found out that our landlord's wife passed away. She had been ailing most of her life. She was a kind and quiet woman and the way she carried herself as she battled her various illnesses is something to be admired. Most of us would never have acted with such grace. Tonight I went to the funeral home to pay my respects. Seeing her in her casket so small and frail belied the strength I had seen in her - it saddened me - but her husband, my landlord - who is one hell of a guy - he stood by her through her illness (he married her knowing she had polio) - it was his attitude his calm in the face of this loss that touched me the most. Jane - wherever you are now - I hope your suffering's done.

And as I write this the sky has opened up and it's pouring down rain - a hard rain indeed. And so for all this loss - and all that's to come:



Oh, where have you been, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, where have you been, my darling young one?
I've stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains,
I've walked and I've crawled on six crooked highways,
I've stepped in the middle of seven sad forests,
I've been out in front of a dozen dead oceans,
I've been ten thousand miles in the mouth of a graveyard,
And it's a hard, and it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard,
And it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

Oh, what did you see, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, what did you see, my darling young one?
I saw a newborn baby with wild wolves all around it
I saw a highway of diamonds with nobody on it,
I saw a black branch with blood that kept drippin',
I saw a room full of men with their hammers a-bleedin',
I saw a white ladder all covered with water,
I saw ten thousand talkers whose tongues were all broken,
I saw guns and sharp swords in the hands of young children,
And it's a hard, and it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
And it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

And what did you hear, my blue-eyed son?
And what did you hear, my darling young one?
I heard the sound of a thunder, it roared out a warnin',
Heard the roar of a wave that could drown the whole world,
Heard one hundred drummers whose hands were a-blazin',
Heard ten thousand whisperin' and nobody listenin',
Heard one person starve, I heard many people laughin',
Heard the song of a poet who died in the gutter,
Heard the sound of a clown who cried in the alley,
And it's a hard, and it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
And it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

Oh, who did you meet, my blue-eyed son?
Who did you meet, my darling young one?
I met a young child beside a dead pony,
I met a white man who walked a black dog,
I met a young woman whose body was burning,
I met a young girl, she gave me a rainbow,
I met one man who was wounded in love,
I met another man who was wounded with hatred,
And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.

Oh, what'll you do now, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, what'll you do now, my darling young one?
I'm a-goin' back out 'fore the rain starts a-fallin',
I'll walk to the depths of the deepest black forest,
Where the people are many and their hands are all empty,
Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters,
Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison,
Where the executioner's face is always well hidden,
Where hunger is ugly, where souls are forgotten,
Where black is the color, where none is the number,
And I'll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it,
And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it,
Then I'll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin',
But I'll know my song well before I start singin',
And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall.


A Hard Rain's A Gonna Fall - by Bob Dylan

From a certain 'Fallen Angel' I know

OK this one is sick - but....

As the name of my friend implies - he's a 'fallen' angel

*laughs*

He sent the preceeding pic as well....

 

File under: 'Mommy something's wrong with Dolly' 

Commonwealth Club Speech

Commonwealth Club Speech

This was a speech given by Michael Crichton to the Commonwealth Club.

It is long but well worth the read. I found it to be absolutely dead on.

Thanks to Erich for sending this.

Suit Accuses 'Extreme Makeover' of Fraud - Yahoo! News

Suit Accuses 'Extreme Makeover' of Fraud - Yahoo! News

Um....huh????? Come again???? Is anyone else confused by this story??? I don't get how this caused the contestant's SISTER to commit suicide - why? Because she was able to be easily goaded into being mean to her own sister - shit if that were the case I'd have um never mind....

Love you sis!

^_^

Seriously though I don't get the nature of this law suit...

DON'T EVER USE WEBDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Word of advice – the on-line dating site, ‘Webdate’ seriously sucks. The guys on there seem to be idiots (OK so I am finding a lot of the guys out there in general are idiots – just as I am sure a lot of the women out there are bitches – no, I am not trying to make blanket statements but I am telling you a lot of people doing this dating things are really a couple fries short of a happy meal).

Two stories:

Out of the blue one guy I talked with previously on there called me – left me a msg on my cell – which when we were chatting before I had given him – nothing came of our previous ‘talking’ so I never thought of him again….so as I said out of the blue I get this msg to call him. So I call him – we have a brief but very eye opening conversation about how he is looking for someone ‘proper’ to be with how he wants a woman with good ‘Christian’ values because he is still raising his kids etc. I am thinking to myself: when did people suddenly decide that this is good phone conversation and why not put that on your profile because then I’d know to avoid you. Having ‘Christian’ values is a GOOD THING but when you start expecting me to turn into Donna Reed and never say the word fuck again – well that’s ain’t gonna happen. (and yes he used the term ‘potty mouth’) – what kills me about people like this who want everything to be just so, and perfect and don’t want to expose their kids to bad language, or bad movies or bad music is that ultimately in the ‘real’ world it’s going to backfire on them – and I can attest to this personally with my own kids. Secondly if you are looking for a ‘Sunday-go-to-meetin’ kind of girl shouldn’t you find her at your local church????

So I tell this guy maybe we can chat a little later. Things get hectic and one morning we decide to try chatting on line and I tell him about my concerns because I am not a ‘Christian’ and I say that since he feels that this is so important is it really a good idea for us to talk….he says that as long as I am not going to try to ‘convert him’ (convert him???? To what??? Sanity??? It’s more like he’s going to try to convert me) we can certainly try to see each other – perhaps see where it goes or until we find someone more to our ‘liking’ – to me what this indicates is that he just wants to ‘hook up’ which I am not into – but I tell him we can certainly talk maybe go get some coffee. OK so this was last week. Now this week I have been super busy. I am going out of town for work at the end of the week; I am getting the Yoga studio in order and trying to build up classes. He had added me to hi IM ‘friends’ on Yahoo on Monday and I saw this and added him. Then yesterday he sends me an off-line IM msg that says “hmmmm you added me but you didn’t talk to me – should I take you off my list?”

WTF??????????????????

So last night after I get home from a mtg with a perspective Yoga client and birthday dinner with my son and his dad – I get on line to check e-mail – I see this guy is on line so I start talking to him. I said something about wanting to go get coffee and he starts chastising me for being too busy – he also says that he has not answered any of my e-mails because *HE* feels I am too busy (yeah OK can we say spoilt brat? Just what I need, a replacement for my good-for-nothing ex husband – who was also threatened by my having a life and building a future business). By now I’ve had it – I basically told him that I don’t appreciate being vaguely threatened to be ‘removed’ from someone’s chat list, that HE was the one who called me out of the blue and that if he can’t deal with a busy professional woman who has also just started her own business that maybe he needs to find some barefoot and pregnant chick to date. I told him ‘pouting and stomping of feet’ on a man isn’t attractive and I signed off.. I wanted to tell him to go fuck off but then I might have hurt his virgin ears. GEEZ!

Story #2 – was already hinted at in one of my last posts….

When I post my ‘profile’ I am first of all pretty up front about how I am – yes it might be MY perception but nonetheless I don’t sugar coat myself. Here’s an example:

“I am an attractive, intelligent woman looking for signs of intelligent life. I am fun and I have many varied interests. I like to travel, I like culture, the arts, music and good literature. I love going out on the town or staying at home and watching movies or just hanging out. I love great conversation and I feel it is a dying art. I am an avid reader and NOT into being a couch potato (unless we are snuggling). I teach and study Yoga (I have been studying now for over 17 years) and I work in the health care field. I am compassionate and caring and would like to be with someone who has similar interests, and qualities. The most important qualities to me are honesty, integrity, kindness and intelligence. My spiritual side is very important to me, but I am not overly religious.

Looking for a way to begin a great friendship (because I feel/think that should be the foundation of any great relationship) and, if the connection is right - then we'd begin a special relationship (translation: let's just go slow).

Looking for someone who is tolerant and can hold up their end of the conversation. Someone who is willing to and able to discuss issues and have thought-provoking conversation; someone who is not afraid of a fiery, strong-spirited woman.

Looking for someone who is as comfortable going out to the theatre, symphony, plays and the museums as they are going camping, hiking and just plain staying at home; someone who wants all the joys, laughter and even the sadness/mediocrity life has to offer.”

OK – now what would cause anyone to write to me just to ‘taunt’ me? If you are not interested in me don’t write to me and complain that I am ‘fiery’ or ‘strong-spirited’ – seriously I don’t need your opinion – especially when half the time the guys that come forward to talk to me have profiles that read like obituaries - and that's only WHEN they decide to get off of their lazy asses TO post anything.

So when this guy began harassing me I reported him – to no avail. The people who run the site are apparently asleep at the wheel

So now I am going to give up on yet another site (already gave up on Yahoo personals cause that sucks even more). Not sure at this point what to do. YES! I AM BUSY! So sue me. It’s why I do the ‘on-line’ thing in the first place and since I can’t/won’t date Yoga students (not a single comment tout of you C2) – not to mention that I typically don't get guy students…I mean what’s a girl to do? I won’t go to bars to meet other guys – it’s never going to work doing that. Mr. C suggested just hanging out in a book store/shoppe and get some coffee and try to start up conversations that way – I don't know sashay up to some unsuspecting magazine reader and offer him my phone number after mumbling some sort of introduction...hmm not sure I can pull this off.

And I don’t mean to constantly berate this process – it just seems hopeless and fraught with broken people who are looking for someone else to fix them and yes it's occurred to me that I might fall into that category – I am definitely amongst the walking wounded – but I'd like to think I am also worthy of better than this crap out there...

So if ‘Webdate’ ever needs a spokes-person they’d better not come knocking on my door.

Pirates' copycat pose puts yoga on the mat

Pirates' copycat pose puts yoga on the mat - World - smh.com.au

Hmmm - very interesting article brought to light on the Yoga 'list' I belong to (e-sutra - which is now a blog)....

I DO have some things to say about this - will post more later

Check out this guy's work

There are some great galleries to be found in downtown Cleveland...

During the recent IngenuityFest '05 (I was dragged down there at the last minute by a friend) - I was mainly wandering around checking out the art - the recent 'sprouting' up of galleries is kind of nice - it's been a while since I was in the downtown area like that.

Hats off to the promoters - I was not all that impressed by the festival (or the attendance) - and I really highly doubt the numbers were as high as they claimed (70K), but I do hope it continues every year - Goddess knows Cleveland needs stuff like this.

So go to Mr. Nekic's WEB-SITE and check out his artwork.

 

Help!!!!!

OK guys - need some help here - seriously.


There is a website I am on - some guys have started writing to me - it's all good.

One guy decided to write to me and get nasty with me about my profile. Why? I really don't know - he just decided it would be fine to send me some snide comments about what I said about ME - I was being honest - in other words I say I am fiery tempered (I am !) and I don't know why he decided to write to me but he did. SO I tell him to bugger off and I block him. Now, his e-mails are getting through to me regardless - I've tried telling the admins on the site to no avail.

Now he is an idiot, he has a Yahoo ID - his real e-mails out there the whole nine yards.

What do I do????? Seriously I need some help here - he is harassing me - and I don't want to stop using this site - I've met some pretty cool people and I refuse to let this guy win.

Any help or suggestions are appreciated. I'm fuming over this asshole's antics.


Merci bien

Colette

retroCRUSH: the world's finest website

retroCRUSH: the world's finest website

This was a 'Monday Morning Smile' sent to me by Mr. Hess. Thanks Jeff!

I think you will all get a kick out of this....and yes there are some great tips for 'beating' those fun carnival games.

Shame though on any Carnys' giving away secrets....

Mensa Invitational

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again
asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter,
and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners.........

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which
lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite
period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.

9. Hipatitis: Highly infectious coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one
got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the
Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good for
you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed
just after you've accidentally walked through a spider
web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and
cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half
a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature: .....................

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an
asshole.

Polytechnic Online - Features: Low gas prices are a constitutional right

Polytechnic Online - Features: Low gas prices are a constitutional right

Strolling down memory lane, New Orleans style

This story ties in with the time in my life where briefly (for one season) – I was a ‘Carnie’

After that season ended (with us being arrested and then escaping justice – much like a non-violent Bonnie and Clyde of the transient set), I basically told my love (Tommie) that I was done being a ‘Carnie’. I didn’t want to live like that anymore. (and yes I promise to write about it someday, gang).

Cleveland was a really bad place economically to be back then – especially job-wise. There were no jobs – the economy was horrible. One of Tommie’s cousins suggested he had seen advertised jobs in the South (Houston) – almost begging Northerners to come take them and that they currently had a friend who lived in New Orleans we could stay with for a little while on our way to ‘greener pastures’ in Houston.

So we packed up cousin Mark’s van and we headed south. It was Tommie, myself, and his cousins Mark and Dale. The trip down was uneventful – for the most part – we partied all the way down. If you are a Yankee and you head down South it can be an eye-opening experience. From having grits served with every meal, to the entrenched southern drawl, to the kind of creepy, I think I am stuck in the movie ‘Deliverance’ feeling.

We landed in New Orleans around the end of spring/beginning of the summer. I had never been there before and when we got there I was absolutely amazed and fell in love instantly with the culture, the sights, the French Quarter - where it was pretty much a party every night. The first time we went to the French Quarter it was a weekend and from Friday until Sunday in the AM the streets were cordoned off to allow people to just ‘walk’ and drink and cavort and eat and dance and sing and you name it. The sights, the sounds, the music, the smells – it was like my senses were all on overload. Indeed. We met up with Mark’s friend who of course did not have enough room for all of us (which we should have been aware of, but being young planning is not a forte). So mainly we ended up living out of the van – not glamorous at all. We all scrambled for jobs – for me it was pretty easy, I found a job waitressing at a Shoney’s – I hated it – I had been a waitress up North too but this was different, the attitude of the other waitresses was just too much for me to take many a morning. And they didn’t like 'YANKEES' at all. I have to say I was in for a lot more of that once we got to Houston but not having my crystal ball handy I could not see that far ahead.

The guys had a harder time finding jobs. Mainly they got counter jobs as retail clerks. Tommie had no skill set other than running and operating games for a midway and although we were at one of the most famous places for ‘carnivale’ where after Mardi Gras the season started in earnest, working it’s way up North. I am sure in retrospect it made him sort of depressed. In fact, Tommie was depressed just about the entire time we were in New Orleans – he was pretty unbearable to live with.

Mainly I spent my days (from 6AM) mindlessly working; we were lucky to be near a KOA campground and I was able to get showers a couple times a week in between the campground and Darryl’s apartment. Every now and then we’d have enough money to stay in a hotel near the outskirts of New Orleans. I tried staying upbeat, at times, it got kind of rough.

I never tired of going to the French Quarter. I was the only one among us who spoke any French but the patois was very different, and then of course once you start mixing in the Cajuns, it’s a whole new ball game. I do remember a really tense moment once when we were camped by a beach and the Cajun residents thought we were trying to horn in on their crabbing territory. *MY* guys all started acting macho and puff-puff with their chests but then I realized rather quickly that these people with the accents meant business and I managed what must have been an acceptable apology. We were left alone after that, but I forced the guys to break camp because I seriously felt we were in a bit of danger. Yeah now there’s a laugh, here *I* am living in the Bayou with three guys in a van and the 'danger' I 'perceived' was from the Cajuns (I am sure some would say rightly so..).

The 'other' locals of the City of New Orleans were something else. The days were interesting whenever we found time to wander. I prowled the ‘Quarter’ to make it my own. All the little shops – Tommie and I loved going to ‘Le Petit Soldier’ - but there were other great places to discover as well, like the Garden District, Jackson Square, the paddle boats on the Mississippi. I got to know the area pretty well. The nights, though, the nights were completely different – the nights didn’t belong to anything but the night. I looked forward to the weekends especially the ones where we could afford to ‘party’ a little – there was nothing like it. We would start out Friday night and just wander the French Quarter, get drunk (sometimes on hurricanes), eat and then stumble back ‘home’ and sleep and start the whole thing again Saturday night. I saw things that I will never forget and the memories are burned like indelible ink on my psyche. The street performers, the jazz music, the food, the houses of debauchery (girlie shows, diva shows, drag shows, orgies on stage (seriously), etc.) – all in one convenient locale, all seen through an alcoholic glaze, all part of the fabric of this city. The nighttime life WAS basically ‘Sin City’ in blazing technicolour. The feelings all of this aroused in me ran pretty deep from fear and loathing, to horror, acceptance and finally, compassion. I will tell you that even though the place was teeming with tourists and that was the bread and butter for the businesses, the locals aren’t fond of ‘strangers’ yes they’ll take your money but it’s like (in a lot of ways) working in a carnivale – we’ll take you for every penny but we don’t much like you…

I think the most interesting place I stumbled across I found on my own, and that was the Voodoo museum – I had never been an initiate of anything even remotely resembling this type of spirituality. And I did not walk in there on purpose I just kind of wandered in. I was suddenly immersed in another world. The room was impossibly small (as are a lot of the shoppes in the French Quarter). There was a huge statue of the Virgin Mary, there were glass cases holding innumerable ‘trinkets’ and, I am sure, accoutrements of the practice. When I looked up, I was greeted by an imposing black woman – statuesque, striking, powerful. She didn’t glare at me but she measured me. And I think she recognized me as a fellow priestess. She was suddenly kind and softer and she new I was out of my element – literally as well as figuratively. She asked me if I missed home (I did not at that point, yet) then she asked me if I needed a love potion. I told her no. She began showing me things in the cases – it was then that I noticed the tarantula crawling across the case as well as a snake wrapped around one of the statues. I would normally have been afraid but something about her was regal, calming and I just stayed, looking around a little more and talking. When some tourists came in I left but she made me promise to come back. I did a week or so later and she then talked to me about having to practice an ‘underground’ religion (gee I could sure identify with that) – she mentioned that not even the congregants knew who the priests or the priestesses were because of the danger involved to those who administered the rites. It was a religion that seemed steeped in mysticism, symbolic portent and secrecy (again because it was not considered ‘fit’ or should I say ‘Christian’ enough for the main stream populace to feel comfortable in welcoming it’s activities). She kept insisting that I take a love potion, but I guess I must have felt my ‘love’ was safe enough to not need any added protection (of course that was proven wrong later)…who knows, perhaps she was trying to give me something to bring a different love into my life – I guess I will never know…

We left New Orleans after 6 months. I’d say they were tough times (and sometimes they were), but I was having too much fun – besides I’ve been in worse situations. All I know is that those memories and those feelings stay with me, lurking just under the surface at times and every now I then I get to take them out of my old trunk of a brain and reminisce.

I’d like to think it would take more that a hurricane to destroy that incredible city – a city of antiquity and mystery – a city where the people know how to party, how to eat, and, how to really celebrate a funeral in style. A city that lives on in my heart and mind and hopefully will rise from the depths of this disaster to be the ol’ New Orleans I loved.

Dateline: Hollywood - ROBERTSON BLAMES HURRICANE ON CHOICE OF ELLEN DEGENERES TO HOST EMMYS

Dateline: Hollywood - ROBERTSON BLAMES HURRICANE ON CHOICE OF ELLEN DEGENERES TO HOST EMMYS

TOO FUNNY!

Sexism May Shorten Men's Lives: Study

Sexism May Shorten Men's Lives: Study

So listen up chaps - time to be nicer to the ladeez....

Seriously. I've always been fascinated by the differences between patriarchal and matriarchal societies and this only point out what seems already clear to me - in societies where women are respected and held in high esteem - the things that I see as really important (education, spirituality, peace, fellowship) thrive.....

Just more food for thought. Not that anyone's hungry for anything other than pepperonii pizza and beer...

Neighbors Say Kids Found in Cages Polite

Neighbors Say Kids Found in Cages Polite

POLITE!!!????!!!!!! WELL-BEHAVED????!?!?!?!?!?

YA THINK??????????????????????

J.H. Christ. Of course they were - wouldn't you be if you parents had locked you in a cage....not to mention scared shitless....but then I guess not if you thought this type of thing was normal.

I am so angry I could spit.

*evil grin*

Too good for words 

No, I am not phoning it in

I am tired....not making excuses, just tired. I have things I want to say and I am working on something about my adventures in New Orleans. I will finish and post soon.

The things that get sent to me from time to time, day to day are from thoughtful, creative and loving people that I am lucky enough to call friend.

I don't get on as much as I used to and that's both good and bad. But I will write more - as soon as the fog clears from my head (which could be never)

As ever, I remain...

Colette

Another from Mr. C - or more food for thought

This one is a bit more timely (and more serious)- and this is definitely food for thought.

***************

Washington Has Beef with Europe's Katrina Aid

Why did the United States government turn away a German cargo plane filled with 15 tons of food relief last week? Plus, this week's NATO meeting could be overshadowed by a mini trans-Atlantic crisis. And the billionaire founder of IKEA got rich, he says, by eating at the company cafeteria.

Is the delivery of relief goods from abroad an embarrassment for the United States?

Last week, a German military cargo jet carrying 15 tons of food labored into the air bound for the United States. The goal, of course, was to feed needy victims of hurricane Katrina. But the food supplies never made it. Refused permission to land, the plane was forced to turn around and head back to Cologne, still fully loaded. Food from other countries has likewise been banned.

Why was the aid not accepted? As it turns out, the US Department of Agriculture had rejected the rations -- originally prepared for NATO troops -- out of fear they may be tainted with bovine spongiform encephalopathy (BSE), the agent thought to cause mad cow disease. Despite intensive efforts on the part of Germany's foreign ministry, the US government refused to give the plane flyover rights.

But officers at a US base in Pensacola -- where previous German aid planes had landed -- believe there was another reason. In reality, the critics said, the Bush government was trying to avoid embarrassing images of Europeans making food relief deliveries to the States. After all, the meals had already been certified by NATO as BSE-free. Additionally, the same types of meals have been used in common deployments in Afghanistan, and they've also been consumed by American troops. Startled by a query from SPIEGEL on Friday evening, the US Embassy here in Berlin said the ban on the pre-prepared meals delivered from Germany would be lifted. Indeed, the shiny, new US Ambassador to Germany, William Timken, had only recently thanked the German
government for the first 20,000 donated meals -- all of which have already been eaten by Katrina victims.

Though Berlin has been generous in its offer of support to hurricane victims, most Germans have been less forthcoming. The reason, according to a poll taken by polis-Umfrage for the German news agency DPA, is that many feel America is wealthy enough to take care of itself. Fifty-four percent of survey respondents said they would neither donate money nor other support for the Americans. That opinion is also reflected in the amounts raised by German charitable organizations. One week after it set up a special hurricane relief account, the German Red Cross said Friday it had only raised EUR790,000 for the Americans. By comparison, similar calls after the December tsunami and the 2002 flooding in eastern Germany drew more than EUR10 million.

According to Red Cross spokesman Frederik Barkenhammar, the main reason for the reluctance to give is America's relative wealth. "The US isn't a developing country," he said. But reactions to the emergency have also effected Germans' charity: Many were horrified by the shortcomings of the US government and the mass looting they saw on TV. But this isn't led by resentment of America, Barkenhammer emphasized. "The distress of a mother in New Orleans who has lost her children is just as enormous as that of a mother in Banda Aceh," he said.

More from C2

Ya know I really think we should blog together....
She is the Yin to my Yang (or is that the other way around??)

At any rate - gotta get me a subscription to the Washington Post...

***************


Where to Point the Fingers

By Charles Krauthammer
Friday, September 9, 2005; A25



In less enlightened times there was no catastrophe independent of human agency. When the plague or some other natural disaster struck, witches were burned, Jews were massacred and all felt better (except the witches and Jews).

A few centuries later, our progressive thinkers have progressed not an inch. No fall of a sparrow on this planet is not attributed to sin and human perfidy. The three current favorites are: (1) global warming, (2) the war in Iraq and (3) tax cuts. Katrina hits and the unholy trinity is immediately invoked to damn sinner-in-chief George W. Bush.

This kind of stupidity merits no attention whatsoever, but I'll give it a paragraph. There is no relationship between global warming and the frequency and intensity of Atlantic hurricanes. Period. The problem with the evacuation of New Orleans is not that National Guardsmen in Iraq could not get to New Orleans but that National Guardsmen in Louisiana did not get to New Orleans. As for the Bush tax cuts, administration budget requests for New Orleans flood control during the five Bush years exceed those of the five preceding Clinton years. The notion that the allegedly missing revenue would have been spent wisely by Congress, targeted precisely to the levees of New Orleans, and that the reconstruction would have been completed in time, is a threefold fallacy. The argument ends when you realize that, as The Post noted, "the levees that failed were already completed projects."

Let's be clear. The author of this calamity was, first and foremost, Nature (or if you prefer, Nature's God). The suffering was augmented, aided and abetted in descending order of culpability by the following:

1. The mayor of New Orleans. He knows the city. He knows the danger. He knows that during Hurricane Georges in 1998, the use of the Superdome was a disaster and fully two-thirds of residents never got out of the city. Nothing was done. He declared a mandatory evacuation only 24 hours before Hurricane Katrina hit. He did not even declare a voluntary evacuation until the day before that, at 5 p.m. At that time, he explained that he needed to study his legal authority to call a mandatory evacuation and was hesitating to do so lest the city be sued by hotels and other businesses.

2. The governor. It's her job to call up the National Guard and get it to where it has to go. Where the Guard was in the first few days is a mystery. Indeed, she issued an authorization for the National Guard to commandeer school buses to evacuate people on Wednesday afternoon -- more than two days after the hurricane hit and after much of the fleet had already drowned in its parking lots.

3. The head of FEMA. Late, slow and in way over his head. On Thursday, Sept. 2, he said on national television that he didn't even know there were people in the convention center, when anybody watching television could see them there, destitute and desperate. Maybe in his vast bureaucracy he can assign three 20-year-olds to watch cable news and give him updates every hour on what in hell is going on.

4. The president. Late, slow, and simply out of tune with the urgency and magnitude of the disaster. The second he heard that the levees had been breached in New Orleans, he should have canceled his schedule and addressed the country on national television to mobilize it both emotionally and physically to assist in the disaster. His flyover on the way to Washington was the worst possible symbolism. And his Friday visit was so tone-deaf and politically disastrous that he had to fly back three days later.

5. Congress. Now as always playing holier-than-thou. Perhaps it might ask itself who created the Department of Homeland Security in the first place. The congressional response to all crises is the same -- rearrange the bureaucratic boxes, but be sure to add one extra layer. The past four years of DHS have been spent principally on bureaucratic reorganization (and real estate) instead of, say, a workable plan for as predictable a disaster as a Gulf Coast hurricane.

6. The American people. They have made it impossible for any politician to make any responsible energy policy over the past 30 years -- but that is a column for another day. Now is not the time for constructive suggestions. Now is the time for blame, recrimination and sheer astonishment. Mayor Ray Nagin has announced that, as bodies are still being found and as a public health catastrophe descends upon the city, he is sending 60 percent of his cops on city funds for a little R&R, mostly to Vegas hotels. Asked if it was appropriate to party in these circumstances, he responded: "New Orleans is a party town. Get over it."

Things that cheered me up

This is from another frined (Miss S> G> - soon to be Mrs. K - that is if she takes his name...)

****************

Dave Barry's List of 25 Things You Will Learn in 50 Years of Living

1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.

2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe Daylight Saving Time.

3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor.

4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.

5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she is pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

6. A penny saved is worthless.

7. They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the middle east will be bitter enemies.

8. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

9. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is the fact that, deep down inside, we all believe we are above-average drivers and everyone else is a maniac.

10. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.

11. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

12. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

13. There apparently exists, somewhere in L.A., a computer that generates concepts for television sitcoms. When TV executives need a new concept, they turn on this computer. After sorting through millions of possible plot premises, it spits out "THREE QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT", and the executives turn this concept into a show. The next time they need an idea, the computer spits out "SIX QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT". Then, next time it spits out "FOUR QUIRKY BUT ATTRACTIVE YOUNG PEOPLE LIVING IN AN APARTMENT" and so on. We need to locate that computer and destroy it with hammers.

14. Nobody is normal.

15. At least once per year, some group of scientists will become very excited and announce that: The universe is even bigger than they thought! There are even more subatomic particles than they thought! Whatever they announced last year about global warming is wrong!

16. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people not in them.

18. The value of advertising is that it tells you the exact opposite of what the ad actually thinks. For example, if the advertisement says "This is not your father's Oldsmobile," the advertiser is desparately concerned that this Oldsmobile, like all other Oldsmobiles, appeals to old coots like your father. If Coke and Pepsi spend billions of dollars to convince you that there are significant differences between these two products, both companies realize that Pepsi and Coke are virtually identical. If an advertisement shows a group of cool, attractive youngsters getting excited and high-fiving each other because the refrigerator contains Sunny Delight, the advertiser knows that any real youngster who reacted in this way to this beverage would be considered by his peers to be the world's biggest dork...and so on On those rare occasions when advertising dares to poke fun at the product, as in the classic Volkswagen Beetle campaign, it's because the advertiser actually thinks the product is pretty good. If a politician ever ran for president under a slogan such as "Harlan Frubert: basically he wants attention," I would quit my job to work for his campaign.

19. If God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

20. You should not confuse your career with your life.

21. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

22. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

23. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that indiviual is crazy.

24. Your friends love you anyway.

25. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Sadly shakes head

This is from Mr. C. I don't know I guess I just thought that the Chinese thought this stuff was stupid (I certainly did, and there's a reason why it was a TV show folks...)

***********

Dukes of Hazzard to be Remade into a Chinese Television Series

Somewhere in Anhui With the recent success of the Dukes of Hazzard The Movie in the U.S., Chinese television producers are planning a new series based on the popular American television show. Filming has already began in the countryside of Anhui, and the first pilot is set to air in the spring of 2006.

"Recently we have had a lot more access to pirated copies of entire seasons of the Dukes of Hazzard, and that is quite a gem," says CCTV-2 programming director, Quan Bing. "So I thought to myself. We can do this. I think Chinese television viewers will love their yehaw attitude and total disregard for traffic laws."

Early buzz about the show makes it sound promising. "We wanted to take make it the Dukes of Hazzard but with Chinese characteristics. So several things will be different, but more accessible for the average Chinese," says Quan.

Here are a few of the changes:

Instead of the General Lee, a hot-rod Dodge Charger with a rebel flag, the Chinese series will have the General Tso (original planners of the series considered the General Chang Kai-Chek but decided this name was too controversial), a muscled-out Chery QQ with a Chinese flag on top.

HO RETARDED

The Llama Song

The Llama Song

From C2 - I think she's finally lost it....


Um....er....hmmmm

Yeah C2 I agree totally

^_^

Rant #1,234,567,890

Look I am sick of it. OK. Sick of all the sneering and the in-fighting over this Katrina bullshit.

Let's get some things straight ALL of you out there....

1. and a very big #1 at that. Help. Shut the hell up and help. Send money, send food, and supplies. Stop finger pointing for now and help. That's what they need - stop blaming the victims of this (unless someday you want to be caught up in a natural disaster and have God and the rest of mankind turn their collective backs on you in YOUR time of need). Help. There's going to be plenty of time for blame later - we can lynch the President then...and all of his FEMA people as well if that will make you happy.

2. Those of you blaming the poor people of Louisiana and Mississippi, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Period!!! You've never lived in New Orleans, or in Mississippi, nor (from the sound of your crap have you ever been poor). I have both lived in New Orleans and been incredibly poor and you know what sometimes YOU CAN'T GET OUT and sometimes YOU CAN'T HELP YOURSELF. Shut your piehole and refer to #1. Help - or go away - preferably to the Middle East or Africa where other people are REALLY suffering as well so you can see other people of colour in trouble there too since you can't seem to get it through your thick fucking skulls this shit happens all over but when it happens here and your brain can't wrap around it you decide to blame the victims.

3. Get used to the fact that there is a class/caste system in this country. Get used to the poor being treated like crap. What? Did you need a hurricane to explain this shit? Have you noticed the homeless? Think they're going anywhere soon (not in this country/not in this economy) - if you don't like looking at the poor go back into your million dollar homes in California and shut the fuck up or refer to #1, and help.

4. I am sick and fucking tired of it being a crime to be poor in this country. I am sick and tired of seeing crimes perpetrated against the poor in this country (like police brutality, social programs being yanked and shitty schools because they can't afford to live elsewhere and all you white folks run away when they come to your neighborhoods - stop lying and face it!) Further, I am sick and fucking tired of both liberal and conservative Americans wringing their pasty white hands and not knowing what to do or pointing the fingers at their political counterpoints and blaming them. Look in the mirror - YOU voted for these assholes. Watch some *real* news and I don't mean the CBS, NBC, ABC-socialist tonight reports. Think - Do you remember how to use your brain???? DO YOU???? Doesn't seem that way to me. Go to your local church or community center and ask how you can help. Get involved. Go to your town hall meetings, your city council meetings and stop whining - become an activist.

5. You don't get to support people who claim to be Christian and act as un-Christian as possible. (And stop fucking telling me the Christian Right-wingers aren't claiming to be Christians and stop fucking telling me that not all Christians are like this.) (I am sure you aren't like this 'Christina' but if you are TRULY not like this why are you NOT stopping the idiots that are like this?? Or does your precious two-faced Christianity keep you from smiting down ignorance and intolerance???? PLEASE! Look, you wanna know what would Jesus do??? He'd take an UZI and blow up Pat Robertson THAT'S what he'd do for saying shit like this is God's punishment....(Goddess help me I don't believe this man.)(And by the way IF you voted for Bush YOU DID VOTE FOR THIS CRAP - sorry but thems the breaks.)

So if you can't play nice in the sandbox (or cesspool 'cause that's what Louisiana is now) - then go home, take your toys and go home. We really don't need you.

Just a simple heartfelt thanks

To those of you who wrote (to the one special guy who called) - I want to say thank you...from the bottom of my heart...thank you for caring enough to post to my comments from last night - you have no idea how you all touched my heart.

XOXOXO

A strange event

I have seen this before (I believe I have seen it attributed to Robin Williams) - the reason why I think it's strange, in this instance, is that my sister sent it to me and she really usually does not send me stuff like this.....nope, it's usually prayers. ^_^

Note the timing with this is a bit off but I thought I'd post it anyway and sorry about #8

(Love you sis!)

******************

You gotta love Robin Williams...... Even if he's nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan....(Hard to argue with this logic!)

I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."

1..) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those 'good ole boys,' We will never "interfere" again.

2..) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the
fence.

3..) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are..
They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4..) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless
given a special permit!!!!!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed
in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum
would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11
cashiers.

5..) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't
attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6..) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7..) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to
sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8.) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not
"interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever
they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9..) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10.) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH....learn it...or LEAVE.....

Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.' She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'You want a piece of me?' "

Sometimes...

Things just go through my head - I can't help it - like right now - because of all of this crap down south I've got the song from Led Zeppelin 'When the Levee Breaks' going through my head...inappropriate I know.

*****************

Tonight I was suppose to have a date (somewhat) - he cancelled ( for the 2nd time) he has never met me - we have not shared gads of e-mails or phone calls - he cancelled cause he says he's having a bout of bursitis. He is 11 years older than me - I guess that sort of thing begins to set in?? Not sure - I did not even bother to answer his e-mail because I just don't care anymore - I know that sounds cruel but I just don't feel like dealing with it...I've grown weary of all the crap. (I have to laugh C2 said something like he should just take some tylenol and deal with it). I tend to agree....

*****************

I was also, this evening, as planned, taking my son and dropping him off at his drum teacher's house. Unfortunately for him (and as it turns out for me too) - his teacher was not home so he did not get the chance to record some music as he had planned. We went to get something to eat then tried his teacher's house again still no show on the part of the drum teacher.(Since this meeting was not set in stone he was pretty cool with the teacher not being there) - my son even apologized for wasting my time. But right before we got home (and this was seriously out of the blue), he decided to let loose with some really hurtful things about the little 'pet name' I had for him as a little boy and about some of the things we used to do when I'd play with him - pretending and keeping his imagination/creativity going (at least that's what *I* thought I was doing) - turns out he apparently hated it - ALL of it.

Now I know he's a teen and I know teens are difficult and I know they say things without even realising what they are doing. But I also now know why wolves eat their young. I felt so hurt. By the time I got home I was wiping tears from my eyes. He didn't know he had made me cry and I didn't want him to see me cry. I snuck up to my room and by the time I got there I was sobbing uncontrollably.
I cried for so long and so hard I can't breathe now. I was crying so hard I could not see and now my head is pounding. (Perhaps I am crying over more than his careless comments...but I don't know).

I am amazed at the power he had to hurt me and equally amazed at the depth of that hurt.

******************

I just want to be held by someone who doesn't have an agenda. Someone who can hold me and not necessarily NEED me. Someone who can comfort me but wants nothing in return. It's the search for unconditional love and since I can't teach my cats to hold me I guess I am S.O.L. - so what happens when the one who is always strong in the family, the one who is always comforting the others needs some comfort themselves?

Nothing - absolutely nothing.

I am not trying to be melodramatic. I am just tired of caring all the time. Really, suddenly tired, really in pain and all I want to do is curl up and perhaps die in some small way...or just be told it's all going to be OK.

I don't usually put this stuff on here (at least not anymore) - in the past - what made me start writing all this to begin with - was mainly my hurt and anger at being betrayed by the man I loved. But a lot has been building up lately and I have never felt so alone...

JCB by Nizlopi

JCB by Nizlopi: Monkeehub presents a music video to the single 'JCB' by band 'Nizlopi'.

This is another find by C2 - it's really amazing - go check it out!

(If I ever go on vacaiton she's going to get asked to 'guest host' my blog - like the 'Tonight Show' only different) - I am certain she'd turn me down...

*pouts*

^_^

Holy Crap

Sent to me by C2 - she in turn got it from HERE

...there are no words

 

Art imitating life and hitting way too close to home

Hanging with Sid and Liam I often end up watching 'chick flicks' (no you two, I love you *hugs*, I am not complaining here).

This time was a bit more than merely a 'chick flick'. This time I got to take a trip down memory lane and have my own soul stripped bare in the process. I got to re-live the affair I had only to be made to realise (yet once again) that I did not act with the same grace of Francesca (Meryl Streep's character) in this story of a passionate love that could never really be legitimate.

I totally identified with this movie, and then I wanted to hurt myself for not being brave enough to see the writing on the walls of my own pitiful life.

Like Francesca, I totally understood how when you marry and have a family that you are 'suppose' to give up everything to them - for the better good of your husband and children. You are 'suppose' to sacrifice and 'do the right thing'. Like Robert Kincaid (Clint Eastwood's character) - I too feel that we are all hypnotised into believing in such things - that we are all suppose to live the 'American Dream' of the home, the white-picket fence and 2.7 children - but in reality we don't 'belong to each other' and we are all somehow lying to ourselves and the ones we love when we don't act on our feelings - or our gut instincts. It's all quite maddening, isn't it?

I think that hind-sight is a horrible thing sometimes and I find myself wishing I could have been as brave as Francesca and just lived in the moment of the affair and not let it hurt my family the way it did - they certainly did not deserve it - but no, I had to go and really fall in love, throw caution and common sense to the wind for a passion that was all-too-consuming and burned everything that got in it's way...and now I am left holding the ashes of that love that I thought would last forever.

 

Details...details

So Saturday I got up to go to work on the Yoga studio. Scott was already there and had knocked out about 1/4 of the wall we had to knock down to create a bigger room. The we were going to rip out the old carpeting - we had a lot of work ahead of us.

I am glad I brought some masks to use and glad there were gloves there too - this stuff was old (the building had probably been built in the 50s and there was a lot of dust and of course old fiberglass insulation in the walls. Scott demolished and I cleaned up after him. We worked together for three hours with few breaks. He talked as we worked and I listened as he told me he was at wits end with his marriage. He listened to me the same way when mine fell apart. I know he's somewhat attracted to me (and not I am not saying this because I have some self-inflated image of myself when it comes to men) I can feel it. But I kept telling him over and over as gently as I could - to really think on things. To try to make things work (because there are little kids involved)- I wonder to myself if my husband said these things about me - sometimes the bitter part of me imagines *ALL* men say these things about their wives when they talk to other women that they may be attracted to...

But Scott and I have a business relationship and I'm no 18-year-old home wrecker/tramp - so I try to be a good friend and I listen and I suggest things that hopefully might help him to win the war he's waging in his mind and heart. The questions only he and his wife have the answers to - hopefully they will work it out...together.

I was sore Sunday - I had problems walking - I guess I am more out of shape than I thought I was. Hopefully though, we will get new carpet down and the room will be wonderful and the Yoga business will thrive.

Surprising and a bit brave for Mr. Cruise

Because I needed something to mess with my befuddled mind even more...I wathced this...I had not seen it and was rather surprised; (Disclaimer: I DO NOT LIKE TOM CRUISE!)However, this was not a movie I expected him to take on. I was a bit disappointed in most of the perfomances - but the story and the 'mystery' was enough to keep me watching (LOL despite my better judgement). No thumbs up or down - you have to see it yourself to decide...

 

Kanye West's Torrent of Criticism, Live on NBC

Kanye West's Torrent of Criticism, Live on NBC

This is via Boing Boing (and by the way you guys should go there and read some of the stories...), but I think this particular story points up what the 'buzz' is about right now in terms of how the Bush administration has reacted to this crisis (which would be like a bunch of fucking jack-asses). In fact the president should be forced to resign. If he can't handle a domestic emergency he shouldn't be president. If this isn't a crime, I don't know what is....

*****

I think one of the most heart-breaking moments for me was on 'Meet the Press' (again those rascals at NBC) where the President Of Jefferson Parish in Louisiana started crying because his mother (who was stuck in a nursing home) drown and there was nothing he could do to save her - because 'No one is coming to save us!' I had to leave the room crying.

The other thing that upset me was the interview (again on NBC) with the Mayor of Louisiana where he made some comment about 'America's treatment of Americans' during this disaster... LOOK BUDDY - your saving grace here HAS been other Americans - not your friggin' government and certainly not F.E.M.A. it's been local stations around the country who have set up phone lines - it's been WallMart (Goddess help me for saying so) - it's been the local Red Cross - so don't you dare accuse other Americans of turning their collective backs on you people down there. I sure the hell haven't. Now George Bush, the Director of F.E.M.A., those are the people you need to lynch. NOT your fellow countrymen.

Woman torches house trying to kill spiders - Peculiar Postings - MSNBC.com

Woman torches house trying to kill spiders - Peculiar Postings - MSNBC.com

Per C2 another person who is in line for the yearly 'Darwin Awards' - C2 is trying to build a case about bizzare behaviour (just plain stupid acts), applying more to Germans (Other examples to follow below) - *I* nominate these people to be taught by that whale... ^_^

*******

Exhibit A:

Builder stole panties for work
A German builder admitted stealing hundreds of pairs of ladies' knickers because he likes to wear them for work.

Police arrested the 23-year-old for stealing pants from neighbours' washing lines after he was trapped by one of his victims.

Ingrid Volkmann, 53, had her hubby install a motion sensor under the washing line to catch the thief.

After he was arrested, the man reportedly told police: "I like wearing women's knickers to work but was too embarrassed to buy any myself, which is why I took my neighbours."

******

Exhibit B:

Fell in love with 999 operator's voice
A German man was arrested after repeatedly dialling '999' after falling in love with the operator's voice.

Cops managed to track down Guenther Bergmann by following the line of telephone booths he used to make the calls.

Bergmann, 45, from Duesseldorf, who had been drinking, told police he couldn't help himself.

"The first time I called it was an accident, I just pressed the wrong buttons. But the operator had such a sexy voice that I lost control and had to keep ringing back. I think I'm in love with her," he said.

He now faces charges for wasting police time.

******

Exhibit C:

Firemen wrecked driver's first car
German firemen have destroyed a teenage driver's first ever car after they mistook it for scrap and used it for practice.

The fire fighters from Hennef, near Bonn, spotted the teenager's pride and joy parked alongside a scrap yard they thought it had been dumped.

They set to with hydraulic scissors and axes to cut the roof and doors off to practise for freeing people from crashed cars.

But the car had only been parked and not dumped next to the junk yard.

The 19-year-old driver, who had just bought the car after passing his test, said he had not even driven it yet as he was waiting to renew the MOT.

Insurers for the fire service will now have to pay out damages to the young man.

Clever Whale Uses Fish to Catch Seagulls

Clever Whale Uses Fish to Catch Seagulls - Yahoo! News

This on the other hand is pretty cool. Perhaps he can teach those looters a thing or two....

CNN.com - Sniper fire halts hospital evacuation - Sep 1, 2005

CNN.com - Sniper fire halts hospital evacuation - Sep 1, 2005

I can't believe this story...people are abosofuckinlutely nuts - I can't believe the looting either - just exactly where do you think you are going to plug in that TV you are stealing you morons???? Food, water, diapers - hey OK go for it - God will look the other way...TVs and electronics????? Give me a break - geez.

Vacation is Over... an open letter from Michael Moore to George W. Bush

Friday, September 2nd, 2005

Dear Mr. Bush:

Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.

Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping with national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?

Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!

I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?

And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!

On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.

There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.

No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!

You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.

Yours,

Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
www.MichaelMoore.com

P.S. That annoying mother, Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch. She and dozens of other relatives of the Iraqi War dead are now driving across the country, stopping in many cities along the way. Maybe you can catch up with them before they get to DC on September 21st.

Sadness...

The meaning of life truly escapes me when I see all the devastation down in New Orleans/Mississippi. I am saddened beyond measure by some of the images and stories I am hearing.

It's like being in collective shock and not knowing what to do or where to turn just to talk or to cry about what's happened. I am putting together a story about MY experiences in New Orleans - but it's seems rather calloused of me to be writing about an adventure when people are dying, so for now I won't finish...actually I won't post it - I'll still work on it...it doesn't help much...

I do want to say this - that the 'glitzy-Hollywood-beautiful-people-rock-star-people' (you know who you are - people like Madonna, Matt Damon, Sting, Bono and his majesty Bob Geldoff) you guys had all better put your heads together and put on a telethon for this one. Ya think? Oh yeah and perhaps it's time the 'rest of the world' stepped up to the plate here too. Every time there's a disaster somewhere in the world, people in the good ole' US of A put their hard-earned money towards things like charity and the Red Cross - well guess what - my grandmother use to say 'charity begins at home' and you know what - she was right. So all of you countries out there who looked to us for support, or money - I guess we suck when it comes to policing the world, right? But you damn well want our troops and our money and our power on your side when you're in trouble?? Time to pay the piper kids. Pitch in and help - it's why we're called Allies (at least *I* think it is).

Help everyone - do what you can. You can go here to start. Oh and it's not just to donate to the hurricane victims it's a network for helping all over the globe - check it out. The people down in the South (USA) need our help right now...a very poor man said to me today 'If everyone just gave $5..' so if you can spare it - please I am begging you - help.

Briton Finds Venomous Centipede in House - Yahoo! News

Briton Finds Venomous Centipede in House - Yahoo! News

Seriously 'creepy crawlie' story here...

TorontoSun.com - Michael Coren - Rights-worship fetish ruining our society

TorontoSun.com - Michael Coren - Rights-worship fetish ruining our society

Goes along with the last link posted. We all have rights. But do the 'rights' of the few outweight the 'needs' of the many?

Curioser and curioser...life becomes as you move through it...

It’s Art So Long As You Don’t Detonate It : Gawker

It’s Art So Long As You Don’t Detonate It : Gawker

From C2...eye of the beholder I suppose...