In Ireland, few safe havens for an ancient tongue

In Ireland, few safe havens for an ancient tongue - Yahoo! News

hmmmm

I've always wanted to learn Gaelic - perhaps now's the time

I 've never heard anything like this before...

The World: Global Hit

There are many good reasons to listen to NPR - one of the best is their program 'The World' and it's 'Global Hits' segment.

I want you all to click on this link and listen to Jake Shimabukuro play the ukulele and his amazing version of George Harrison's 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps' I was absolutely amazed by this...4 strings, 2 octaves - pretty amazing...

I never knew you could play stuff like this on a ukulele.

Bravo!

Terry McMillan divorcing 'Groove' muse - June 29, 2005

CNN.com - Terry McMillan divorcing 'Groove' muse - June 29, 2005

OK....

You know I always loved this movie - because it proved that women in my *ahem* age bracket could find passion in their lives again. I really don't think this is going to 'detract' from that portrayal...

I can say I really am able to relate to the pain she must be going through.

It does go to show though, that you really don't 'know' someone - as well as you think you do; and also, that you should really exercise caution when picking a mate from a foreign country when it involves you providing them a way to gain access to becoming a US citizen - although frankly I don't think being a US citizen carries the 'significance' it once used to....

Let's just hope this whole turn of events does not hurt Ms. McMillan's ability to stay in her 'groove'

*smirk*

OK - it's corny but I thought it might provide someone with a laugh:

*************

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees!
What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a seven foot grizzly charge toward him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.

He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his right paw. At that instant the Atheist cried out: "Oh my God!......"

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out. And the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together and bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, Bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful."

CNN.com - Voice of Winnie the Pooh's Tigger dies - Jun 26, 2005

CNN.com - Voice of Winnie the Pooh's Tigger dies - Jun 26, 2005

Just found this out....bummer....

NPR : Bush Defends Iraq Effort; Cites Bin Laden, Security

NPR : Bush Defends Iraq Effort; Cites Bin Laden, Security

He's a friggin' 'horse's ass' and I'll prove it...

Just check out the joke sent to me by one of my dear friends:

Texas Surgeons

Three surgeons are having lunch and one of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States."

Battle Looms over Gettysburg Casino Plan

NPR : Battle Looms over Gettysburg Casino Plan

History was always one of my favourite subjects. I am saddened when 'developers' and corporations feel that it's more important to build a gaming resort than it is tto preserve and important part of American History. While I feel the need for jobs is important to our economy, I wish there were some way to accomplish this without harming such national treasures.

My advice - get to Gettysburg if you want to see it in it's 'natural' state before the 'money-changers' take over the temple....

Boffins create zombie dogs |The Other Side

Boffins create zombie dogs | The Other Side | Breaking News 24/7 - NEWS.com.au (27-06-2005)

Yep...I'll say this is from the 'other side'...and please let it stay there...

Someone want to clue me in as to why this is a good idea?

And Pleasure.....

Having coffee with a friend is one of my favourite past-times – of course some friends are better than others when it comes to this sort of thing...

We talk for hours I don’t know where the time goes anymore….we talk about anything and everything without a hint of agenda or having to ‘think’ about it lest I reveal too much. We are even able to ask each other to NOT discuss something without there being hard feelings but then perhaps that’s because there’s no ‘real’ emotional relationship other than 'friendship' at stake...

He seems to ‘get’ everything I say. I don’t have to explain myself - there are pauses but they are not awkward - I don't feel a need to fill it all in with babble - we can be silent with each other and that's a good thing. It’s like when I was trying to define the kind of guy I find sexy and he mentioned the word ‘tarnished’ and while that image had not even entered my head I knew in an instant he knew exactly what I meant and he was right there with me...in synch somehow – I can’t explain it…

I am getting to close for my own good/comfort and safety and I need to step back because I am going to end up getting hurt – I am going to end up falling and I can’t do that with him – because he is promised to someone else. Perhaps it’s why I feel so safe, because I know nothing’s going to happen????

I don’t know – I just hate shit like this

Business...

The evening’s business went better than expected. The one wife involved is angry (I think mainly because she has been stricken with some disease – and perhaps – wrongly – I mistook her anger for dislike) – so of course the entire evening she was angry and mean – the other wife was much better and all in all it was a good meeting. We did not come to much in the way of a strategy but still there are ‘gigs’ on the horizon and hope is in the offing…

I am hoping they will manage to get the leaky roof fixed so I can begin teaching again in the fall if not this might be the end of my association with them as business partners, which is OK. I will just have to find ways to teach on my own. Who knows what the future might hold when it comes to this endeavor.

They are a good group of guys (both male massotherapists) to work with. I look upon them as older protective brothers and both have hearts of gold. So I am lucky to have fallen in with such nice people to have as business partners.

I will probably try to help by putting together a web-site for our business but first we have to see if I am even going to be on board come September….

Will update as we go…

Dog days

...can be rough when you fancy yourself of a somewhat feline-esque temperament...


It's hot...swelteringly so...I feel like the Kathleen Turner character in the movie 'Body Heat' (it was a kind of 'hot' movie) - well at least the scene where William Hurt breaks in and has hot sex with her on the floor or something or other - is pretty hot.

This heat would seem oppressing to most - but again being thankful I live right up against the lake - I don't find it too too bad here. I want to go to the beach (hell I *always* want to go to a beach (any beach *laughs*)) but I have to go meet some business partners for dinner to hash out a marketing plan and figure out ways to grow our business. So the beach is off - until perhaps after dinner and then I might just drive up there and walk until sunset and hopefully the coolness of the evening will play against the backdrop of the fire that slips into the lake every evening come dusk.

I want, I want, I want...*sigh*

I want to share this with someone. I want to be mad and fiery and passionate. I want to have sex (*laughs*) one of these days; and not just sex, I want this to be as passionate and fiery as me (or at least as much as I dare think I am) - kind of like that scene (I am sure I've mentioned before) in the movie 'From Here to Eternity' (oh and if you are too lame to know which scene that is or even the movie to which I refer get off my blog or go ask your parents) - only of course making love on the beach can cause discomfort if not done properly, and land you in jail or in front of a judge for indecency if not handled discreetly enough....nope don't want that ruining the fantasy...

I guess ultimately the lonliness just plays/preys upon me and I grow weary of being alone and not having someone to share with, or to take a walk along the beach with, or to rub oil all over each other (insert next action here), or to see the sunset with, or all the myriad of things you seem to do in those first months/years of the romance when everything seems so peachy keen and then it fades like so many on-screen love scenes till it's all blurry and you can't figure out why you ended up together in the first place....

...and as I write this I am amazed at my own cynicism and wondering if part of the problem is that I am somehow too jaded to fall in love anymore - because let me tell you dear readers (if any of you do still read this thing I claim to be an author to) - that this has to somehow be for me a 'falling in love' this girl isn't just going to go out and have tawdry (or in this case, in this heat) steamy sex - (and I can't for the life of me figure out why - or why I even have the audacity to call myself Colette on here...) - and how is that going to ever happen if I am too scared to let it happen? Is longing in one's heart/soul enough to MAKE something happen? Do I have to make a sacrifice to the Goddess just to get a decent partner?

Just musing out loud....and forcing you to listen *laughs*

Now I am off to go to this damn dinner and make the other wives jealous (tsk, tsk Colette) - no don't be silly I am not doing *this* on purpose - it's just that I've already met the one wife and she doesn't like me and I am sure the other will follow suit because they are friends with each other so it shall be 'pick-on/dislike-the-divorcee-when-we-are-actually-jealous-of-her-cause-our-husbands-think-she's-hot' kind of scenario at dinner...guess I should play it to the hilt (for what it's worth) and wear something low-cut just for my *own* entertainment purposes (being the total bitch that I am...)*smirk*

fun, fun, fun...

See you at the beach at sunset cheri...

A bientot

'Blog-cleaning' kinda like house cleaning only different

So I took down some of my links on the blog roll. I still have some cleaning to do.

I din't take th elinks down becuase I didn't *like* the bloggers anymore or they weren't 'linking' to me (hell you'd think we'd all move past the HIS hitrionics ya know, but....). I took them donw becuase either 1) the link was broken, or 2) I never visit and don't feel I should just link to 'anyones' blog unless I find it relevant or something I would enjoy reading myself.

That said I want to direct your attention to a new blog I stumbled across (mainly because somehow in my 'tracking' thingy someone was referred to my blog that way - don't know if it was blog jumping or what but I am thankful for fidning out about his blog). And in a lot of ways that is how I 'discover' new blogs - unless someone tells me about one or in my reading of other people's I come across a wonderful blog. ANd this blog I 'found' is just that - wonderful.

The blog I am refering to is English, August blogspot - the writing on this blog is incredible, lyrical, poetic. I am at once hypnotized and mesmerized as well as somewhat taken by his ability to arouse certain 'feelings' in me...check it out for yourself. I for one am looking forward to continued reading...

CNN.com - Mom charged in fatal dog mauling - June 24, 2005

CNN.com - Mom charged in fatal dog mauling - June 24, 2005

Just an update folks...

Another innocent kid died needlessly - but hopefully justice will be served here.

You know it just strikes me as amazing that we are so stupid as to own (yeah right like we have a right to *own* living things) - anyhow to own animals that might be a danger to ourselves or worse our kids.

Anybody else think you should have to obtain a license (or take an I.Q. test) - to breed and raise children?

Search for Missing Boys Ends in Tragedy

Search for Missing Boys Ends in Tragedy

Ya know....I don't even know why I read or watch news anymore....

I feel sick right now and I am crying (not that it matters)

FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!!!

I am heart-sick - just sick.

'BEAUTIFUL BOXER'...as promised

At the Cinematheque in Cleveburg, you can see some rockin', awesome, (mainly foreign or old-stuff-they-don't-show-on-the-big-screen) films.

I got to go see Beautiful Boxer last nite. Thailand is a gorgeous place (aside from the steamy/seamy side). This movie was written with a wisdom I found refreshing, with a humour that was innocent all backing up a powerful story. My only disappointment was that *I* could have done without the 'dream' sequences. They just did not seem to fit in with the 'flow' of the film.

All in all it was a great film and the food afterwards at the Siam Cafe was wonderful (and fitting because I ordered Pad Thai). (The company in tow was pretty good too.)

I have decided I need to spend the money and get a membership and support Cinematheque and go see more films. I mean how cool is it to be able to go to a local place and see films that have not made it into the theatres yet - or you can't even see on a big screen anymore.

To me, works of art (such as film, music, books) are ways in which men/women can leave their mark on history and become immortal - Support your local arts/artists!

 

So now Tom Cruise is a doctor???

Wow - no wonder Katie loves him...he's just so hip, so happenin', so knowledgeable. Wonder where he got his MD from - hey does the Church of Scientology offer that now?

Hmmmm....

Has anyone seen/heard of the 'Free Katie' T-shirts? Yep when that babe breaks free there's gonna be a whole lot of deprogramming to do. Thank the Gods Nicole got away....

*smirk*

We are such sluts for this stuff aren't we?

Romania Stunned by Nun's Death in Exorcism

Romania Stunned by Nun's Death in Exorcism

One of the scariest books I ever read was 'The Exorcist' - I was 11 years old when I read it....scary huh? My mom didn't know I was reading it - she also didn't know that my 20-something cousin had passed it onto me to read - I don't know which was worse, me reading it or her giving it to me to read.

That book and the idea of 'banishing' demons made a huge impact on me. To this day I find it to be one of the Catholic Church's (and organised religions' in general) darkest mystery and most horrifying story(ies)...

To think that in this century something like this can and still does happen boggles the mind. But then I dare say people are 'fools for God' - if you get my meaning (some of you probably won't) - the human mind and psyche are just crammed full of volatile/primordial beliefs and if you're not careful....I guess there are all kinds of boogey men/women/monsters to be afraid of out there - even the ones who claim to be holy.

Italy finally grows some balls

Italy Judge Orders Arrest of 13 CIA Agents - Yahoo! News

Bravo - LOL

Of course I am sure nothing will actually come of this move...

Beautiful Boxer (2003)

Beautiful Boxer (2003)

Can't wait to go see this...Friday night....can't wait. More later.

Dean Answers Cheney's Barb About Mother

Dean Answers Cheney's Barb About Mother

'Your mother wears army boots....'

*sigh*

Is it simply too much to fucking ask - that the leaders of the 'free' world to grow up? I mean really.

Can we just all promise each other to 'clean house' next election.

'Big brother needs a hobby' - Via Colleen

(from the Cleveland Plain Dealer):

Peep-show booths must install cameras
Cleveland council orders shops to monitor sexual activity

Friday, June 10, 2005

Michael Sangiacomo
Plain Dealer Reporter

Cleveland City Council decided it takes a peep show to crack down on peep shows.

Council unanimously passed a law this week ordering the city's adult bookstores to install video cameras in each peep-show booth to monitor what goes on.

Ron O'Leary, a Cleveland chief assistant director of code enforcement, said Thursday that council members were shocked last year to learn that some men masturbate while watching X-rated movies in the private booths.

He said they were also chagrined to learned that sometimes two men may engage in sexual acts in a booth.

"Any kind of sexual activity in a booth constitutes lewd behavior,"
said O'Leary. "Sexual activity includes masturbation or sex between two people. There is a law that forbids this activity in public and allows the city to close the business down where it occurs."

The cameras will only show images of peep-show customers between the neck and knees.

If a person is observed touching himself in a booth, O'Leary said it is up to the store employees to make him stop, or to call police.

O'Leary said each video store is responsible for buying, installing and maintaining the cameras. In addition, each store must keep five days' worth of recordings and allow them to be examined by city officials at any time.

The city ordinance further demands that the video monitor that receives transmissions from the booths be placed in full public view so that anyone in the store will be able to see what is happening behind closed doors.

O'Leary said the city does not plan to prosecute individuals performing the acts, only the shops allowing the acts to occur.

Each booth will have a sign warning people that they are being watched and recorded.

Cleveland attorney Jeremy Rosenbaum, who represents the city's three adult bookstores with video booths, declined to comment.

O'Leary said the ordinance is part of a compromise with Rosenbaum that negates a previous council plan for all doors to peep-show booths be removed.

"Doesn't City Council have anything better to do?" asked Chris Link, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Ohio.
"They ought to be ashamed of themselves."

Link said the ACLU would not get involved in the case since "there is no First Amendment right to masturbate."

Soundtrack to these feelings

Dig if you will the picture
Of you and i engaged in a kiss
The sweat of your body covers me
Can you my darling
Can you picture this?

Dream if you can a courtyard
An ocean of violets in bloom
Animals strike curious poses
They feel the heat
The heat between me and you

How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that's so cold? (so cold)
Maybe i'm just too demanding
Maybe i'm just like my father too bold
Maybe you're just like my mother
She's never satisfied (she's never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry

Touch if you will my stomach
Feel how it trembles inside
You've got the butterflies all tied up
Don't make me chase you
Even doves have pride

How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world so cold? (world so cold)
Maybe i'm just too demanding
Maybe i'm just like my father too bold
Maybe you're just like my mother
She's never satisfied (she's never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry

How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that's so cold? (a world that's so cold)
Maybe i'm just too demanding (maybe, maybe i'm like my father)
Maybe i'm just like my father too bold (ya know he's too bold)
Maybe you're just like my mother (maybe you're just like my mother)
She's never satisfied (she's never, never satisfied)
Why do we scream at each other (why do we scream, why)
This is what it sounds like

When doves cry
When doves cry (doves cry, doves cry)
When doves cry (doves cry, doves cry)

As sung by Ani DiFranco

Artist: Prince
Album: Purple Rain
Title: When Doves Cry

Lost...

I am trying…always trying (unsuccessfully) to keep things at bay. Things I don’t want to think about, yet my mind wanders/flits to them like a moth to the flames. And burn me it does.

I don’t know why I keep returning to the scene of the crimes perpetrated against me….maybe it’s because he is still in my life and keeps trying to re-insert himself in more permanent ways…I alternate between hate and pity – it’s like getting caught between the magnet pull of two planet – neither of which I am truly inhabiting…

The of course I hear/find out things about HER - from people somehow still entangled in her life and it only makes me sadder somehow. I don’t know if it’s sympathy/compassion or just the sheer volume of spite I feel towards this person.
I mean the fact that because of her another woman is suffering, as are children, and in the meantime she is (I think) planning her escape. I never thought I would think of another woman in terms of ‘home wrecker’ – I don’t know why that applies here – in the past I always put the burden of the blame on the men. I reasoned that THEY were the ones who were married, older, should know better…etc…. But then I get to thinking (REALLY THINKING) about things and what happens to them when they end up dealing with someone who is irresistible? I mean are they all that weak? You know it’s like jealousy but it’s not…..it’s more like ‘what’s she got that I haven’t got’ – but yet I don’t want what she has and I am not jealous of her ability to ruin a marriage. I don’t want to destroy other people’s lives (insert Guru Stu comment here: ‘No C – just your own’)…because I know how that feels….

Then the violence rises, the anger, and I just want to beat the hell out of this kid to teach her to somehow mind her manners –yet it’s not about the violence – it’s about wanting to see justice somehow served. People would say that it’s not my problem it’s not my business, well then WHOSE is it? We all buy into this shit and then look the other way and wonder why families are so dysfunctional. Someone has to step up to the plate. The old adage ‘What goes around, comes around’ just does not seem to help and frankly unless someone takes pictures of the just desserts how am I ever suppose to know it’s gonna happen. I know this all sounds, cruel, immature, mean-spirited….I don’t care. (LOL - obviously). Perhaps the ultimate horror of this – the ‘slap in the face’ psychologically speaking is that I see myself somehow mirrored in her mistakes – maybe it’s wanting to save myself from my own untimely demise. Some weird, bizarre ‘Picture of Dorian Grey’ thing. How stupid is that?

And then there are other things going on. Like the pull I feel from the people I’ve really grown fond of. One that is attainable (but I am afraid of what would happen if…) and the other that is not attainable but the tenderness and closeness is just so real and so honest I don’t know what to do or how to keep the rush of it from overtaking me. I want, I desire, I need and yet I fear those things – mainly because I don’t think they are going to set me free….it’s just going to be another prison cell for my ego. Yet letting go of things isn’t happening either. Again the seed/germ of the idea to just getup and go keeps nagging at me. Just go away. Leave. It will all be left behind you then and you can start fresh. I’ve talked to people and lately been musing with (heard snippets of on the radio) that when something like this happens in relationships a lot of times the hurt individual wants the other person to either move away or die…and I know this feeling. I’m on intimate terms with this notion. I keep thinking – if he’d just go away I could move on…but something greater seems to be stopping me – the fear. It’s ultimately the fear of not knowing what to do with myself. The fear that perhaps it was somehow my fault this happened (and I am sure part of it was) – and I don’t want history repeating itself.

And all of this gets trapped in my head, even in my body. I fell helpless against it. Lethargic, unable to feel my way out of it. Like being in the darkness and cursing it but having no light to find my way through. It’s like a ghost haunting me, and the chains rattle the cage of my soul. I just want a chance to re-write my own history and have it include a happy ending. I want the fires to rise up in me and burn away all this sadness, hopelessness and ennui – I want to move forward with purpose and joy and be unencumbered by those damned chains.

For my father

My memories of him are far more clear than of mom.

Perhaps because I was with him through the worst days of my life at that time.

He was born into a large raucous Irish-Catholic family - my favourite memories of that side of the family seem to center around drinking. He was handsome and had the bluest eyes I've ever seen. Unfortunately I did not inherit those eyes.

As we were growing up he was my 'rock' I think I can remember him holding me as a baby - walking me at night, trying to get me to sleep. I was his first born. I was his most rebellious. I was probably a lot more like him than mom. I also remember that when were little and became too much for my mom, all she had to do was say: 'Wait until your father gets home...'. I don't know about my siblings but I remember being scared to death of that threat. And, I remember very clearly knowing that he was incredibly upset when his chin would shake and somehow that worried me/hurt me/scared me more than any physical threat or yelling (he hardly ever laid hands on us...)

I have him to thank in a lot of ways for the 'bad' traits...
My irreverence, my stubbornness, my sometime passive-aggressive ways, my willingness to actually participate in an affair - and subsequently my understanding of the 'why' of those types of sins, my ability to be able to drink a Merchant Marine (that's right boys I said Merchant Marine) under the table, my love of music (ALL KINDS), my love of reading, my love of the Celts...

In him I saw unfold the depths of sorrow when my mother died, and the depths of his desperation and guilt as he descended into alcohol to 'numb' his pain. In other words, his frailty and humaness shown through and because of it I learned about forgiveness and compassion.

Eventually we made our 'peace' with each other and I respect how he was able to be a good and loving father despite what surely was disappointment in some of my decisions - he's the one who ultimately taught me you can't live your children's lives for them - nor can you live vicariously through them.

Because of him my 'baby' brother is one of the best husbands and dads I know. Because of him my other younger brother is an honorable man.

So here's a toast to you Da - because there's no point in praising an Irishman without a wee sip - I love you, I honour your memory. I am glad you were my dad.

Spin magazine puts Radiohead above Nirvana, Public Enemy

Strangely I somehow feel vindicated by this....

*I'm* in the money....um er - I think....

*laughs*

I just LOVE getting these e-mails:

Attention: Bequest Beneficiary

Attn: Sir,

Congratulation! On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of Late Engr. Morgan Williamson, I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter to you hrough the Post Office was returned undelivered, therefore I now attempt to reach you via your e-mail message as it appears to be the next and the only option left unexplored.

Engr. Morgan Williamson (late), made you a beneficiary in his will, he left Thirteen Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars (US$13.500.000.00) to you in the codicil and last testament to his will. My client,Engnr Williamson was a pioneer member of STRABAG CONSTRUCTION CO.LTD, a God fearing person and Philanthropist. He died on the 9th day of February 2004 at the age of 82 and his Will is now ready for execution. Please If I reach you as I am hopeful I will, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job so as to be very free from any blames or blame that might come up in the near future you should forward along your current telephone and Fax numbers,your current mailing address for verification.

You can also write through my chambers email address which is on this letter of you find it so difficult to make International calls or long distant calls Once again, I congratulate you for this is a significant honor indeed as it behooves you therefore to act at once to avoid risk of forfeiture to the deceased family.

Respectfully yours,

Karin Meijer.
{Secretary}

Note: As your solicitor i please advice to keep this information from member of the public until your inheritance is duely and claimed.

Ya know....

One would think that the 'late' Mr. Williamson would know *I* am not a Sir....

^_^

I could use a life of magical realism

Recently, while waiting for my son to get off work - I had some time to sit and watch the last half of this on IFC (then I was pissed becuase 'Talk to her' was going to be on and I knew I would not be able to stay up to watch it...)

I love this movie - the tenacity of the main character is inspiring and the love between Tita and Pedro really touches the heart - and proves that love (true love) conquers all.

 

NPR : The Mix Tape: Art and Artifact

NPR : The Mix Tape: Art and Artifact

Remembering when....

I used to get these as 'singing telegrams of love' and they always meant so much - and I still have most of them...

It was a unique expression of courtship - and I still think it is - because you can esily put together a 'special' CD for someone as well.

Michael Jackson dodges a bullet

CNN.com - Jackson jurors: Evidence 'just wasn't there' - Jun 14, 2005

Yes indeed Michael - you dodged a bullet big-time my dear. And, lucky for you - your victims were not the brightest bulbs in the pack - but then since there were 'hand-picked' so-to-speak....

*ahem*

Let me give you a little piece of advice, Michael - since I don't know if Tito has pulled you aside yet to bitch slap you....

STAY AWAY FROM YOUNG BOYS!

Got that???? Cause if you don't you should re-read it over and over again until you do get it.

Look, I don't care if you are a freak - but you should probably realise that a lot of 'main stream' people don't get you and believe me, Michael that documentary by Mr. Bashir really hurt you.

Don't get me wrong. I think that you were (note the past tense there, Mike), one of the most talented entertainers of our time - back in the day - but now Michael I think it's a really good idea for you to lay low, keep your nose - (well what's left of it) - clean from here on out, and find a new 'hobby' BESIDES showing porn to and intoxicating young boys.

In otherwords 'Beat it' (*wink* I think you know what I mean here), on your own without any of the *props* you seem to have required in the past - either that - or please make sure your 'victims' are consenting adults. Because my dear, quite frankly, I don't think the world is going to stop 'keeping an eye' on your hijinxs at all - and the next time you might not be so lucky.

Mother of mauling victim feared family dog

This is tragic. Really tragic.

OK...first of all I think that's an odd thing to say about your kid dying "It's Nicky's time to go"????? I mean while I agree in a lot of ways with that sentiment - I don't think we should do irresponsible things to 'hasten' it along eh?

Um OK lady. Let me give you *my* take on this - first off there is no fucking way in hell I would ever own animals that I was afraid of so bady that I would have to lock my son in my basement to protect HIM from THEM - NEVER. So here's a clue - perhaps it wouldn't have been 'Nicky's time to go' - had you not had such animals as pets...

Geez.

Just keep repeating to yourself over and over: "100 years from now - all new people".

Living by the Lake...

has it's adavantages - for instance, while writing this, I am sitting by a window and there is a cool breeze blowing in. It's nice because the heat's been so opressive lately....

I have a taste for dim sum...but no one to share it with - probably brought on by the last posting (but that was about a Japanese art form - not Chinese - oh well - it's still something Asian...) - please don't take any offense if you are from either group - I just want some dim sum....

I did some things for myself this weekend (yesterday) - I went and got myself a manicure (which looks wonderful). I also bought some books and things from Half-Price Book - something I have been trying not to do - because I have too much crap to read now. I piced up a CD: "Every Breath You Take" by the Police.
One of the other things I picked up though, was a copy of 'The Last Temptation of Christ', By Nikos Kazantakis (for 90 cents) (what the fuck happened to the cents symbol on the keyboard???) - so it was a great find. I have been so wanting to read this book - since I can't sit through the film (the crucifixion scenes nearly give me seizures - bummer it's supposedly an incredible film). *chuckle* Yeah try being Catholic and scared to death of crucifixes *smirk*....

On the lighter side I also managed to get a copy of 'Me Talk Pretty One Day' by David Sedaris - one of the funniest writers on the planet.


**************

So I don't get people. There's someone out there I've been talking to almost since the inception of this blog. And they seem to be upset with me - and I can't figure out for the life of me why. If it's because of my political stances on things I'd like to say I am sorry but I'd just be lying, so I won't. If it's because of any off-colour remarks on this blog - well I don't know (*shrugs*) I mean I've always been a little off-colour - so what's the big friggin' deal?

I don't fit into your little box, I don't agree with the main stream - I think things that may be unpopular, naughty, 'not-normal', I am not a sheep....does that surprise you my dear?

Oh well....life sucks don't it? I guess the reason why this bothers me a bit is because I did not expect this type of behaviour from this person - I guess I thought they were above this kind of bullshit/pettiness and could understand when someone held a differing view point - I hope and pray I am wrong about this - but if not I guess it was no big loss in the first place.

'People are strange when you're a stranger' - Jim Morrison

NPR : Miyazaki's Magic on Display in 'Moving Castle'

NPR : Miyazaki's Magic on Display in 'Moving Castle'

I am not big on Anime - although my ex (on top of being a huge comic book geek, was definitely into Anime - but then I am not sure if that had anything to do with him being into young Japanese girls - pornographically speaking). At any rate, I kind of resisted his attempts to get me into this stuff - I just could not deal with the way the anime characters would speak (especially their high-pitched whiny screaming)...

The he turned me onto 'Ghost in the Shell - I mean WOW! That was incredible. And the reson why I linked to this is because
'Spririted Away' is a wonderful film as well. SO if you want my recommendations on Anime - for what they're worth - there you have it.

The New York Times : Anne Bancroft, Stage and Film Star in Voracious and Vulnerable Roles, Dies at 73

The New York Times > Movies > Anne Bancroft, Stage and Film Star in Voracious and Vulnerable Roles, Dies at 73

To Ms. Bancroft - the siren-smoky-sultry-whisky-drenched voice that made the movie 'The Graduate' one of the all-time film classics.

Break a leg in heaven my dear....

 

In tribute 

Go see this one NOW - if you can find it

This incredible film, 'Nobody Knows' has to be one of the most powerful films I have ever witnessed. The young boy playing the lead role put in an oscar performance (Dustin Hoffman take note).

It tugs at your heart strings and then rips your heart completely out.

If you can find it at a cinema near you I recommend it highly - you might have a hard time finding it to rent. But it's worth finding regardless.

 

I absolutely DO NOT 'heart' Huckabees

During the same movie-viewing spree we watched this as well - that it until I raised such a stink about how bad this moview stuk (along with one of the other guests) - that thankfully we were put out of our misery.

This completely and utterly sucked - what a waste of a perfectly good cast. Mr. Hoffman, you outta be ashamed or just plain retire...

 

Supersize me again

I had the pleasure (not sure if that's the right word) - of watching this asotounding film again with some friends over the weekend...

I overheard a pediatrician at work say that this should be required viewing for all parents...hell - it should be required viewing for anyone who might even remotely be thinking of eating fast food
 

Courtesy of a certain Dork I know....

Is it me or is anyone else seriously creeped out by the 'Burger King' guy?

 

Lawyer says Aruba men accused of homicide - June 8, 2005

CNN.com - Lawyer says Aruba men accused of homicide - June 8, 2005

OK - again with the 'unpopular' point of view....

Can someone please explain to me how it is that this young woman (only 18 years old) was bar-hopping - without an adult present, went off ALONE with strange men????

I mean even here in the states, this would be a dangerous thing for a young woman to do....ANY young woman.

I just don't get it - there is no way in hell my kid (especially my 18-year-old daughter) would be in a place like Aruba and allowed to be off in bars by herself - because if *I* found out about the chaperones not chaperoning properly - all friggin' hell would break loose....

I am sorry but it just seems that this young 'God-fearing' woman was acting a bit of a slut (like I said this is going to be a really unpopular POV) - seriously though - 18 or not - she is still a kid - and she had no business in bars with or leaving from bars with strange men.

While I pray for her safe return - I highly doubt her mother is going to really leave that island with her daughter (at least alive).....I pray that's not the case. What anguish that mother must be going through.

********

On my own being a mommie side-note...

Today my son is going with his buddies down to Columbus for a Modest Mouse concert - teens are driving - no adults - and you had better believe I am nervous.

Kudos to him for checking out Modest Mouse - but I will be up late until they all arrive home safely....being a mom sucks sometimes....

Man with bloody chain saw let into United States - Jun 7, 2005

CNN.com - Man with bloody chain saw let into United States - Jun 7, 2005: "Man with bloody chain saw let into United States"

The actual title to this link was:

"Questions abound after chainsaw-toting man enters U.S."

Um - YA THINK??????

Yeah OK.

It's official we're friggin' idiots in this country. (Of course in my book that was official a long time ago...)

Coffeeshop in Seattle turns off WiFi on Weekends

Wi-Fi Networking News Archives

My ears pricked up at the mention of this story on NPR (I will try to find the commentary to the 'Marketplace' story and try to post it tomorrow). I don't usually pay much attention to the financial stories on this show but it is on on my drive in and so every now and then I get tidbits of interest here and there.

I happen to agree with going slow on this WiFi thing in a place that's suppose to promote 'socializing' (yep like it's not hard enough for me to meet eligible men - now they will all have their heads in the lap-tops - or as I used to so delicately put it to my ex - 'they have their dicks stuck in their hard-drives').

In defense of one of the people I know who uses this technology, (Mr. Hess) - I will say that he would definitely hold up his end of the conversation even if he is 'jacked in' somewhere...

One of MY all-time biggest problems/complaints with the Internet is that it dehumanizes us and makes us anti-social (all those geeks hiding in their apartments in front of their glowing computer screens instead of being out and about - participating in the world...)

I just fear that if we now bring WiFi into places like coffeeshops and restaurants and cafes - that the 'art' of socializing will meet the same untimely end as the art of writing letters....and I for one would like to see people talk to each other a little more (face-to-face).

Thoughts? Comments? Just curious.

NPR : The Benefits of Restlessness and Jagged Edges

NPR : The Benefits of Restlessness and Jagged Edges

This woman's book 'An Unquiet Mind' changed my life. At the time, my last husband had sunk very low into a depression and I was at wits end trying to find him help (since his family was totally useless)....it was like living through a slow-motion roller-coaster from hell.

I ended up writing Ms. Jamison a 5 page (typed, single-spaced) letter, of course I received no reply - in my desperate hope I thought I might (I am sure she's a very busy woman). In the end he did find some help - but of course this disease process being what it is, help can sometimes be a misnomer as well as completely ineffectual....

I find her writing to be couragous and honest - in a way that one has to admire the lady's guts for stepping forward and talking about her own suffering - academia is not a very kind work environment at times - it is both a testament to her tenacity and to those who were her colleagues at that time (and now) - that she still thrives in this environment.

The windmills of my mind

...always turning....

Tonight....

The lights went out - without warning - the lamp's bulb began to flicker and then fade to nothing - darkness...I realise no electricity *LOL* it figures - just when I am inspired to write....

So now I am writing furiously on paper to get this all down before it leaves me... writing, by the dim flames scattered around me...

My head is full of musings. I went down, just before penning this (as soon as the lights went out) to sit by the lake (I am ever thankful I live here by the water)...the dark edges of dusk, creeping in, twilight still faintly lingering - resisting the night's eventual fall.

Clouds, sparse - above the horizon like the wisps of my thoughts as they fill my head with glimpses of a past life - and - as always, trying to find the key, piece together the reason why my love suddenly went south. (Do I really want to know why? Or do I hold the key inside of me?)

The lake is stock still and dark - a glimmer of the orange-rose sunset still tinting the sky above. I see the boats lit on the water (I wish I were on one of them - out there...)- a red star peeking just above the horizon, glinting madly - reminding me to go commit this to paper...

3 days now - no sleep - delirium sets in....

My mind keeps flashing the phrase 'economy of words' but I don't know why or what it means in this instance....

Streaming consciousness...

...tonight I was taking in a meal at a restaurant, watching a couple - so obviously in love that they were crammed together seated, on the same side of a small booth - and, suddenly the memory of my love with him, of our early days comes rushing at me like a tidal wave. Of US together sitting in a booth at Tommie's in Coventry, close - as close as we could get within decency for a restaurant (and sometimes not even caring if we were being decent). I want to scream at this couple in the now - across the restaurant: "Wait! You just WAIT!!!" But why? What for?

Other memories begin jabbing at me, almost taunting me with their perfection, those stained-glass visions too beautiful to forget but now painful to reminisce about - have become somewhat surreal...not quite 'the way the story goes'.

Snatches of songs, of sights, of smells bring back the memories...I am too tired for all of this but I want to (need to?) find the clues so I can stop repeating my own shitty history...

Memories....

of an ex, an ex, and another ex...(*laughs* bitter now) musing: "A string of men in a long line with more to come???" Suddenly feeling exhausted by that thought....

One ex-lover with memories of a lifetime ago - of late teens, early 20s - his are always late summer memories; when we met. First date and he has to ask me to burn a tick off of his head (all my fault) because I teasingly knocked the ever-present suede cap off of his head onto the ground and when he put it back on his head, a tick had managed to jump into the cap and attach itself to his scalp...memories of him being just quirky enough so that I wanted to learn more, realising as I fell for him that loving him was as natural to me as breathing...memories of running off to the carnival for a season of summer with him...hints at his past - dark and abusive childhood - of finally landing in and living in the deep south - land of summer - of a chance to have a baby together - of him not wanting the baby as I did - of me having her anyhow - thinking she'd be a gift for both of us...finally memories of his sudden descent into his illness, madness and violence more sadness, fleeing his illness, taking the baby with me, glad that I had escaped, guilty that I had escaped...then the final sadness, watching the disease kill him...even more guilt...it still lingers with me even now....

New love, new memories...of again a summer, sweltering heat in Houston, Texas - big as the corn-blue sky can hold, of tentatively dating someone new - another Yankee (this one from New York) - me bineg a single mom and making memories of comfort and of stability (not so much passion), of building a future, of a shared/similar familial background (we both lost our moms at the same age); at last a safe harbour - but eventually realising - after having a second child, that I was not suppose to be more (or want to be more) than wife and mother - memories of trying to spread my wings only he wanted to keep his beautiful butterfly pinned down...memories of the anger building and resentment and finally lashing out and having the affair...all the memories of the pain and hurt I caused...

All that in order to fall in love again - madly in love; falling full force into my passion - without a safety net - the deliciousness of the affair, the taboo, sex, hot, incredible with no boundaries (I should have seen it coming then) - so blind though so in love, even till its bitter end - even now - still hurting because of this love. It's like a nagging toothache - alternating between dull and sharp (if it weren't such a pain in the ass, I'd marvel at it - and maybe I DO marvel at it...)- but then I ask myself: Does it hurt more because *I* was the one 'left', the one betrayed? Is the problem that I am now face-to-face with my own karma - my come-uppance (of my own creating?)???

Even now and then when I see him - my heart feels like it wants to be tender but then something shuts down/closes hard and he is always playing the role of infinite melancholy so well - so rehearsed - so heartbreaking - but something stops me from fully embracing this yet again - lest I get lost....

All these memories - seemingly holding the key to me - to my unraveling - I just keep searching for answers I will probably never find...

Now...

The lights are back on - not doing much to illuminate things for me...my memories begin to recede - that is until I decide to trot them out and examine them once again like specimens - an archaeology of feelings, unearthed....

On the lighter side...

These pictures were sent to me from a dear friend and fellow Yoga teacher...

Thanks to Joanne...

 

 

 

sunning himself...

 

 

 

It's mine I tell you!

 

A mouse in heaven

 

MEOW

 

'It's Ok Ma, I'm only dyin...'

*sigh*

*cough, cough, hack, hack*

Yes indeedy – yours truly has now officially been diagnosed with bronchitis, and laryngitis. And while it’s quite cute sounding when I talk – even better when I laugh because I squeak...

I am miserable (read: I feel like absolute shit)

The problem with getting sick – especially with the nice weather is that – I am sick and the weather is finally nice.

The other problem is that when I went to the doctor (the day after Memorial day holiday – meaning I now won’t get paid for Memorial day), she could do abso-fuckin-lutely nothing for me. Why???? Because ‘it’s viral’. I was unable to see my ‘normal’ PCP – I had to settle for another doctor – and what she said made sense –

I am just really suffering here…..

If any of you have even had bronchitis perhaps you know how I am feeling. I am hacking up my lungs, I can’t breathe, my chest is tight, and I am now feeling pain every time my body coughs – because I am coughing with my entire body. All I want to do is sleep…but of course since I am coughing I can’t rest. I am not into taking medicine for shit like this – but I fear I may have to O/D on something akin to Nyquil and hot toddies (ugh).

I had to return to work today because the office is falling apart without me in here…good and bad. I need to be able to be sick if I have to. I would not wish how I feel right now on my worst enemy (uhm….well that’s not entirely true – I can think of some people I’d wish this on) – but that might be my delirium talking….

If this does not ‘right itself’ over the weekend – I am marching back into my ‘normal’ doctor’s office and demanding the wonder drug (antibiotic) or a shot – or euthanasia – just to put me out of everyone’s misery.

^~^