*sobs*

This morning...as I drove in to work, I was momentarily stopped next to a livestock transport truck. I looked over and through the slats I could see a baby cow...he/she looked so sad...so forlorn...so helpless...

I wanted to tear open that truck - can-opener like and let all the animals free....

Instead I started crying and finished driving into work...

Autumn Memories...

(Re-posting this AGAIN for two reasons #1 because I was asked to submit a sample of my writing to apply for a job (NOTE: I did some corrections in what I submitted but it is here in its original form), and, #2 Because I do love this post and it is beginning to be Autumn once again...)

Autumn Memories

(This is actually (I feel) on of my better/more literary posts - I am re-sunning this today because you can truly sense fall approaching - also because I am feeling kind of home-sick for the hills of Pennsylvania....)

I grew up in the foot-hills of the Allegheny mountain range, just near Pittsburgh PA, in a small town called Verona. I laugh now when I think of it because a long time ago on the Internet via an IRC chat room I earned the name of Juliette because some guy from Switzerland found out I was born in Verona and was ½ Italian *shakes head* those were the days….I should try and find him sometime....

My family was very poor and the town was very small so there were few rich people. I attended a Catholic school run by a group of nuns that seemed hell-bent on beating any imagination, curiosity or rebellion out of us. I don’t think they succeeded with me – I was after all, the rebel in my family and NO ONE was going to beat that out of me. For the most part, I spent my time with the other kids in the neighborhood who were also poor. Most did not even qualify for what would now be considered, middle class. We had lots to do all the time, it seemed – we were always playing, always riding our bikes, always running through the woods, hanging out at each others houses where our mothers would put up with all the noise and sometimes offer cookies and kool-aid. It was a good childhood.

The richest lady in town lived across the street from our small house in what to my mind, as a young girl, seemed a very grand house indeed – she had a vestibule, a long hall-way, that lead to a winding staircase that went to the second floor and, I am sure, many bedrooms, a parlour, a living room, a dining room and a kitchen! There was also a porch in the back that looked over her small garden. Her name was Mrs. Nicholas and she was a widow. She sticks out in my mind because my mother used to have me run errands for her since she was our neighbor. I thought Mrs. Nicholas was kindly but I did not like her much – there just seemed to be something about her that I found scary and cold, but, I did the errands because it gave me a chance to see the inside of her house and all of her wonderful old furniture. Sometimes, I would even earn a little candy money for my efforts.

I remember one evening in particular when I was sitting on the porch steps outside of our small house. For some reason I remember it being very quiet and I was not with anyone, no one else seemed to be outside. Dusk was approaching and it was late summer – you could feel a slight chill on the air and you knew your days of being out until 9:00 PM, playing and not having to get up and go to school in the morning were coming to a close. It was one of those late-summer evenings where you just wanted it to go on forever.

I happened to glance across the street to the old-lady’s house. I saw Mrs. Nicholas sitting on her porch and she was gently swinging on her porch swing. Slowly she put her hands up to her head and I guess in my absent-minded youth I had never noticed how she wore her hair before. I just knew she had white hair. She began un-pinning her hair and slowly the hair fell in long braids all around her shoulders and down her back – almost to her waist. She slowly began unbraiding her hair (I was absolutely fascinated by this for some odd reason) and when she was done – she has the most beautiful cascade of white, wavy hair creating a shawl around her – making her look like an aging faerie queen. She looked beautiful. And at that moment, something inside my 11-year-old brain signaled to me that I had witnessed something which was probably very private, something that no other person besides her husband had probably witnessed in many years. It was almost sacred.

After that moment, I never looked at Mrs. Nicholas the same way, I would go to her house without being asked to offer to help her and, I even refused her money. Somehow we began a small friendship and I would bring things to her that my mother would bake for her and she would buy items that the Catholic school would force us to sell.

Mrs. Nicholas died the winter before I moved to Cleveland; I was saddened by her passing. Not in the same way I was sad from losing my grandmother, whom I lost that same year, but more like I was losing the last vestiges of my childhood and those long summer evenings that seemed to go on forever.
Labels: Growing Up, Memories, Pennsylvania, Re-Posts

Dark Knight

(...of the soul...indeed...)

*sighs*

Anyhow...I have a lot to write about...some of it I am scared to even utter.

All that aside...just go see the film...it's worth it.

Quotes...

(These were found on IGoogle - all good quotes...)

Adventure is just bad planning. - Roald Amundsen

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?' - Jay Leno

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

In passing...

Driving in...
Morning
Passing the field, filled
With those purple flowers.

We never did name them.

Now,
With summer
Easing into autumn
They are fading.

Yet our love grows.

I remember
The moments spent
With you
Discovering us.

Let it always be so.

OH.MY.GOD.

(Or so the title was sent via C2 - I could not agree more....as well as with the *sighs* she used to underline the hyperlink....people are SO friggin' stupid


South Ossetia conflict: Concerned US citizen gets her Georgias confused - Telegraph

Burning bridges...

This one is very painful for me to write....

Recently, I decided to get back into teaching. I still had a 'bad taste' in my mouth from all the politics of teaching for the Cleveland Clinic - but that was going away and I was anxious to teach again.

So I went to a local 'new' studio to offer my services. I interviewed with the owner and it went pretty well - she was an ex health care worker and understood the politics and frustrations as well.

She was losing two teachers at once and there seemed to be plenty of slots. So anyway we agreed to have me 'try out' to teach.

During my interview I told her my preference would be to teach on a week night. She also wanted me to teach her pre-natal class and while I have taught pregnant women it is not my forte - I told her this because I wanted to be as honest as possible.

Due to a misunderstanding the first time I was suppose to teach, a Thursday night - we got our signals crossed and i showed up a week early. When it was my turn again to teach, the lady who runs the studio said another teacher wanted to teach that particular night. The following Thursday I taught the class and when I met with the owner she did not say a word about me NOT teaching the Thursday night class - nor did she give me a schedule. I also taught my first pre-natal class which because I did not know the students didn't go as well as I would have liked.

Well last night, I showed up to teach the Thursday night class. There was another teacher there to teach and we discussed together about the confusion, the other teacher went to ask the owner. I could hear their voices but had no idea of what was discussed. The teacher came back to the room and informed me she would be teaching 'tonight'. She gave a great class and kicked my butt (but I overdid it)....

Today I come in, open my e-mail and there is a very snotty/snippy letter from the owner basically asking me where I got off 'assuming' I'd be teaching the Thursday night class. I was really taken aback by the tone of her e-mail considering IT'S UM YOGA.....

Anyhow I thought about it - found myself getting angry and wrote her a very calm letter, accepting responsibility for my own confusion, for assuming, but also calling her on the carpet for her own lack of communication, and, her not providing me a clear 'schedule' to work with. I told her for karmic reasons, I felt it would be better not to teach for her. I did not wish to teach with hard feelings between us. She agreed and *poof* I''m no longer teaching....

I want to mention as well that in dealing now with a couple of the teachers, their style is somewhat questionable and I find them to be a bit amateurish only because I feel they do not pay close enough attention to what may be a potential physical risk to students (i.e. - they teach in such a way that is definitely going to cause an injury IMO). I am not saying this to air sour grapes- it's what I see as a fact....I have studied for a very long time now and taught over 500 students myself.

I am upset, hurt, and frustrated. I am blaming myself for my own attitude but again left feeling like maybe I should just chuck the entire idea of teaching altogether because I truly don't want any bad karma or wrong-doing attached to my teaching and study...

I don't know what to do. I don't want to teach for a control freak - or with someone who has no idea how to communicate. Yet I want to be able to teach....

Anyhow I needed to get this off of my chest...I am not sure it's going to help - but I am putting it out into the universe nonetheless.


Namaste to you all,
C~

West presses for end to Georgia conflict

West presses for end to Georgia conflict


...yeah....

...so now Russia is threatening Poland?

I think it's time to build a bomb shelter....show of hands - who's with me?

Weapons of Mass Confusion...

(Cross posted elsewhere...)

Lately, I have been surrounded by a lot of confusion and miscommunication. As well as just plain irritation in the form of people not living up to their end of the bargain on the service end of work I have had done.

I got my nails done for my wedding - a manicure. Turns out the tech that did the manicure was a bit hard of my nail beds and now my nails - which were actually pretty healthy before the wedding, So now they have white lines and spots all over them and they are weak like I wore fake nails.I did not notice this until I came back from my honeymoon - I mulled it over and about 2 weeks after that give or take, I decided to contact the salon and explain what happened. The owner asked me to come see her - she sounded like a frantic poodle on the phone....
So a week later I went on a Saturday to show her the damage. She looked at my nails and asked me all kinds of questions - like what products I was using (I was using their line of products), and whether I had any allergies (fair question but I have never had any allergies to nail polish etc). She brought over a nail tech who took one look at my nails and informed me it was damage from 'fake nails' (*loud buzzer*) WRONG! When I said this they brought over yet ANOTHER tech to look at my nails and she asked me the same questions. I felt like I was in a bad scene from 'Hogan's Heroes' trying to explain to the Nazi salon bimbos that I knew what I was talking about because well these were um - MY FUCKING HANDS and I have lived with my nails all my life, furthermore, I know my own body.

I left feeling put out because instead of the typical 'wow we fucked up (if only because YOU the customer who pay us thinks so) and hey we don't want to lose your business - here let's make it better)....but NO, I was informed that the owner of this salon (you know the person who gets to make all the decisions), had to talk to the tech who did the damage...um...OK.

2 weeks went by, not a word. I called three days in a row....finally the 4th day I got the owner. She said to me that she was not sure how to handle this problem other than by offering me a gift certificate....she was very upset and even sounded like *I* was putting her out by having to do this (meanwhile let me remind you my nails are now completely messed up and will be for months - they actually hurt because they keep peeling and breaking off). The owner informed me that she wished I would have come in 'right away'. Um WHAT THE FUCK? First of all can you say honeymoon? Secondly while indeed one needs to complain in a timely manner how the fuck does that repair the damage your idiot tech did to my nails????? I was so pissed off by this exchange that I wrote her a long, and rather nasty letter....

Last night in the mail I got a coupon for $25 buck - now mind you all told just for the manicures alone, I spend over $60, not to mention the hundreds I spent on my hair, my step-daughter etc for my wedding - I think it was close to like $300.00. This is bullshit....and I am really upset....

So since THIS post is running kind of long - I will post yet another about my Yoga experience because karmically I think I just burned a bridge but I don't really care at this point and that's not a good thing...

Chef Julia Child, others part of WWII spy network

Chef Julia Child, others part of WWII spy network


Um...er...I am just floored.

Bon Appetit!

Why bother...

you know...I don't write enough anymore...why is that?

Frankly, I am not sure why I should...my thoughts seem like butterflies and I can't catch them long enough to truly develop...

Ah...for a cabin in the wood and time....

(*sighs*)

Quotes...

In Dreams Begins Responsibility

-- William Butler Yeats

Savoring Memories of Sunday Dinner : NPR

Savoring Memories of Sunday Dinner : NPR

I am re-running this because this weekend I decided to 'attempt' to make home-made 'sauce'. As it so happens the joy came not only from watching everyone enjoy what I did manage to create, but in cooking with my husband.

The search for the 'perfect' sauce continues. Unfortunately, I have lost my mother's recipes and, as it turns out, apparently (and I am trying very hard NOT to be angry about this) - all of them disappeared with my aunt who now lives in an assisted living home and all of her 'stuff' including said recipes (anything I suppose that was not worth saving), has been pitched. (BTW - NOTE: the non-anger thing isn't working very well...)

So when we went down to PA, I sort of 'grilled' my aunt about the recipe for our family's sauce. I tried my best to recreate, however, I am now convinced that instead, I need to make my own and I plan to do so with the help of my wonderful husband who in his own right is an amazing chef.

I don't like making meat anymore, but unless you are using a Margherita sauce, in order to truly capture the flavor of Italian 'gravy' you really do need to use pork and beef to make a rich, textured sauce.

At any rate I hope everyone enjoyed the meal. Next stop, home-made ravioli, possibly pasta - hopefully with my own tradition and special 'twist' on the recipes....

Salut!

38 dead after being bitten by vampire bats - CNN.com

38 dead after being bitten by vampire bats - CNN.com

Um...er....another 'wow' moment - very different obviously...

(It's been a weird news day today...)

Comic actor Bernie Mac dies - CNN.com

Comic actor Bernie Mac dies - CNN.com

Wow...just wow...

How very sad. I loved his comedy. Rest in Peace Bernie - we are crying here on earth while you are making them roll on the floor with laughter in the here-after....

Author Who Chronicled Soviet Abuses Dies At 89 : NPR

Author Who Chronicled Soviet Abuses Dies At 89 : NPR

(Like the idiot I am...I forgot to mention this - even though I held more than a moment of silence to honour this man's life and work)

остальное в мире Mr. Solzhenitsyn

We got that 'Anti-Christ' thingy wrong

Babies born 8/8/08 at 8:08; 8 pounds, 8 ounces

(*snorts*)

Yeah...all this time we had the number wrong...it was actually 8s instead of sixes and a set of twins no less.

(*evil cackle*)

Just because, I'm a freak...

(...for Erin)

THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL

There was a little girl,
And she had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good
She was very, very good,
And when she was bad she was horrid.

One day she went upstairs,
When her parents, unawares,
In the kitchen were occupied with meals,
And she stood upon her head
In her little trundle-bed,
And then began hooraying with her heels.

Her mother heard the noise,
And she thought it was the boys
A-playing at a combat in the attic;
But when she climbed the stair,
And found Jemima there,
She took and she did spank her most emphatic.

-- HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW

Narcissistic Fucks, The Lay of Land & Fried Green Tomatoes

This was the weekend of going down (back home) to Pittsburgh. Our eldest cousin had called and told us that some of our other cousins were coming in from out of town and wanted us to perhaps come down as well - to visit the matriarch of our family.

Erin and I have been to Pittsburgh before - unfortunately once for a funeral - but once for a pleasure trip (it was REALLY pleasurable)....

So Friday after work, we headed out to PA. We went to wrong way at first, but ended up taking 'back roads' in order to hook up with the turnpike - that was a lot of fun.

We got into town and because of the dearth of places here in Cleveburg to go clubbing, decided (in advance) to go clubbing in 'The Burgh'. What a difference 150 miles makes. Clubbing was everything it should have been. Sure there was hip-hop music and narcissistic fucks to contend with (and WTF is up with wearing hot pants and come-fuck-me pumps? Is this seriously a fashion statement (even for women exceedingly overweight??? Yuck!)) - seriously though it was fun...especially once they shifted the music from pure hip-hop to a bit more dance hall-esque....

We stayed out late (Yay! Go Us!) and got up the next day to go to 'sight-see' a bit - the only problem was that everything was a bit poorly planned and instead of having a 'destination' all we really did was wander around downtown - which is fine I suppose but next time, I am going to go armed with an itinerary and a map.

Visiting with my cousins was a joy and my aunt was in rare form, and great spirits. We reminisced and had a ball with each other. The food at the Italian place was wonderful and we had a dining room to ourselves. I got to enjoy being a 'grown-up' with my older cousins and I got to enjoy it all with my husband by my side.

Sunday was another stop to visit cousins from the Irish side of the family - only our one female cousin and the matriarch (the only sibling of my dad's left now) of that side....

We went to mass and then all of us went to brunch at Eat-N-Park. Again it was a nice time and we had laughs and broke bread together.

On the way home from Pittsburgh, Erin and I stopped at a road-side place to buy fresh veggies/corn - which included yummy pure peanut butter and green tomatoes - so last night for dinner we had fresh corn, a fruit salad, and fried green tomatoes - I have not had those in years and I hope I did the recipe justice.

All in all it was a good weekend and my hope is to go to Pittsburgh again with Erin's kids and nieces and nephews in tow in order to 'explore' - but we will definitely plan and map things out so as not to get lost. Pittsburgh is one of the great cities to go to because there is plenty to do and see there. I love going and I hope I get to go again soon and see family because time marches on and our loved ones are precious.