And so it begins...again
I know I said I was gonna move this blog...and sure...that'll happen. In the meantime, much stuff-n-things are going on...so you all know, I have made a foray into a new position and am now a case manager...to say it is difficult work is an under statement. To say we are judged because people have an opinion already formed is also an under statement. To say they tell you, warn you, prepare you for all the shit you are gonna go through - under statement is putting it mildly.....
To that end, I am going to begin again to journal - but in a much different way...a very non-Colette sort of way (but perhaps she will peek her head out to share her experiences in Paris this past summer, qui c-est mes amis).
And now, for something completely different:
From the Trenches - A Case Manager's Journal
When he is ‘him’ the smile in his eyes can rival the sun. His realness shines through. I have been dealing with ‘him’ for several weeks now. He chronically abuses alcohol. We first met when he was in the hospital and the diagnosis was not good. His liver is shot, his pancreas is next. He is with his girl, who never leaves his side, is practically living at the hospital, but then, she is practically homeless along with him. I am introduced to mom, who has taken over his medical care, hoping against hope to save him….from himself.
We are told in social work about self-determination, about honoring and respecting clients. It is a razor’s edge line we walk because at the same time we are ‘helpers’ – we want to save people…but we can’t.
This man seems to do OK after release from the hospital. After they have pumped his stomach, run tubes into him, detoxed him. We have all agreed to a family meeting, where the mom wants me to push her agenda. I am in a word, ambushed. Not by just by mom, but by this man’s sibling with whom he is temporarily staying, who angrily looks at me and asks: “Just what good are you?” After swallowing my anger and indignation, I turn this question on myself and panic…what good am I?
I tell the family meekly that I will work hard to try to stabilize this person, but that he also has to participate, that he has to want to do this work – I feel like I am reading from a telephone script, telling the listener that if they buy what I am selling their life will be complete…only deep down, I know the truth…and the ‘what good am I’ rings through my head over and over.
To that end, I am going to begin again to journal - but in a much different way...a very non-Colette sort of way (but perhaps she will peek her head out to share her experiences in Paris this past summer, qui c-est mes amis).
And now, for something completely different:
From the Trenches - A Case Manager's Journal
When he is ‘him’ the smile in his eyes can rival the sun. His realness shines through. I have been dealing with ‘him’ for several weeks now. He chronically abuses alcohol. We first met when he was in the hospital and the diagnosis was not good. His liver is shot, his pancreas is next. He is with his girl, who never leaves his side, is practically living at the hospital, but then, she is practically homeless along with him. I am introduced to mom, who has taken over his medical care, hoping against hope to save him….from himself.
We are told in social work about self-determination, about honoring and respecting clients. It is a razor’s edge line we walk because at the same time we are ‘helpers’ – we want to save people…but we can’t.
This man seems to do OK after release from the hospital. After they have pumped his stomach, run tubes into him, detoxed him. We have all agreed to a family meeting, where the mom wants me to push her agenda. I am in a word, ambushed. Not by just by mom, but by this man’s sibling with whom he is temporarily staying, who angrily looks at me and asks: “Just what good are you?” After swallowing my anger and indignation, I turn this question on myself and panic…what good am I?
I tell the family meekly that I will work hard to try to stabilize this person, but that he also has to participate, that he has to want to do this work – I feel like I am reading from a telephone script, telling the listener that if they buy what I am selling their life will be complete…only deep down, I know the truth…and the ‘what good am I’ rings through my head over and over.
posted by Colette at 1:56 PM
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