T.M.I.
Yesterday I went for my screening colonoscopy...
(voice over) And now a word from our sponsors....
"Yes indeedy YOU TOO may go through the run-around with the world renown Cleveland Clinic when it comes to YOUR body - step right up folks, get your snake oil here..."
So yeah...
I was given 'The Prep' for this procedure...I read the instructions, looked at the size of that jug and I knew there was no way in hell I was going to drink that shit down. *I KNEW* I would throw it up. So, I called those great people at the world renown Cleveland Clinic and talked first to a very nice nurse who was quite sympathetic but told me 'honey just do the best you can'. Mind you I was calling a full two days in advance. So then I decide to do my best and give it the ole' college try. I go through a full day of no solid food, only clear liquid (and when I don't eat I feel sick too), and then I go home and make The Prep, and chill it and commence the torture.
I manage to get down about 1/2 a glass and violently throw up. I try the other half and throw up again. I'm now done. I refuse to drink poly-ethylene like this. So now I am panicked...I call the GI doc on call at main campus. I wait and wait and wait and they don't answer. The 3rd time some young woman picks up and is a resident. She tells me to not put myself through this and to just wait until 8AM the next day to call my doc to see what else I can do.
Me being me, this is not sufficient enough. So I call the nurse on call at my doc's office. She finds out I have already spoken to a doctor and tells me there is nothing more she can recommend. She says this is the only prep I can take...just to try. TRY? Really?
So now I call my pharmacy. Thank God for pharmacists. This guy gave me plenty of other options...including pills. OK so now, armed with more info, I call the on call doc to have her call this into my pharmacy. She refuses, telling me that I HAVE to use the prep they recommended...the pills may cause kidney damage, and so does the old stand-by they've used for years, magnesium citrate.
By now I am really upset. So I call the pharmacist back and talk to him. It turns out the preparation they want me to drink down also comes in a powder form that I can simply add to Gatorade. He asks me if I can drink a lot of Gatorade quickly, I assure him I can. He also discusses with me the fact that the people at the Clinic are full of it and a lot of other patients have complained about their methods. He says other places prescribe exactly what we are discussing every day for their patients and it works and is safe. Imagine that....
So my loving husband runs out to get this for me. I also got a laxative because (and this according to my sis who has gone through this already) I 'should have' been given that too....
So I get the new concoction and mix it up really cold and start drinking...and drinking...and drinking. And you know what? By the next morning I was done, maybe less 8oz less than what they wanted. AND I was cleaned out....feeling sick, etc. but good to go.
Went to have my procedure and they all asked me 'did you drink the prep?' I thought long and hard about telling them to shove the prep up their own arses but I didn't, I told them I managed to get through a prep even though I threw up a bit. They all were concerned about me throwing up (how kind of you - why weren't you concerned WHEN I was throwing up???).
I was sedated and went through the procedure and came out clean as a whistle, not a single sign of anything. YAY! Go me! ^_^ And now, I can wait another 8 years before I have to go through this fiasco again....
So thanks going out to (of course) my wonderful husband who took care of me and put up with me through this, to God for giving me a clean bill of health colon-wise, and a very special thanks to my pharmacist to whom I am going to personally deliver a thank you note.
As for the world renowned place....I think it's time to shop for a new hospital...I am really tired of being treated like I don't know or don't have control over my own body - you don't know more than me just because you sat through lectures and have your name embroidered on your white coat.
(voice over) And now a word from our sponsors....
"Yes indeedy YOU TOO may go through the run-around with the world renown Cleveland Clinic when it comes to YOUR body - step right up folks, get your snake oil here..."
So yeah...
I was given 'The Prep' for this procedure...I read the instructions, looked at the size of that jug and I knew there was no way in hell I was going to drink that shit down. *I KNEW* I would throw it up. So, I called those great people at the world renown Cleveland Clinic and talked first to a very nice nurse who was quite sympathetic but told me 'honey just do the best you can'. Mind you I was calling a full two days in advance. So then I decide to do my best and give it the ole' college try. I go through a full day of no solid food, only clear liquid (and when I don't eat I feel sick too), and then I go home and make The Prep, and chill it and commence the torture.
I manage to get down about 1/2 a glass and violently throw up. I try the other half and throw up again. I'm now done. I refuse to drink poly-ethylene like this. So now I am panicked...I call the GI doc on call at main campus. I wait and wait and wait and they don't answer. The 3rd time some young woman picks up and is a resident. She tells me to not put myself through this and to just wait until 8AM the next day to call my doc to see what else I can do.
Me being me, this is not sufficient enough. So I call the nurse on call at my doc's office. She finds out I have already spoken to a doctor and tells me there is nothing more she can recommend. She says this is the only prep I can take...just to try. TRY? Really?
So now I call my pharmacy. Thank God for pharmacists. This guy gave me plenty of other options...including pills. OK so now, armed with more info, I call the on call doc to have her call this into my pharmacy. She refuses, telling me that I HAVE to use the prep they recommended...the pills may cause kidney damage, and so does the old stand-by they've used for years, magnesium citrate.
By now I am really upset. So I call the pharmacist back and talk to him. It turns out the preparation they want me to drink down also comes in a powder form that I can simply add to Gatorade. He asks me if I can drink a lot of Gatorade quickly, I assure him I can. He also discusses with me the fact that the people at the Clinic are full of it and a lot of other patients have complained about their methods. He says other places prescribe exactly what we are discussing every day for their patients and it works and is safe. Imagine that....
So my loving husband runs out to get this for me. I also got a laxative because (and this according to my sis who has gone through this already) I 'should have' been given that too....
So I get the new concoction and mix it up really cold and start drinking...and drinking...and drinking. And you know what? By the next morning I was done, maybe less 8oz less than what they wanted. AND I was cleaned out....feeling sick, etc. but good to go.
Went to have my procedure and they all asked me 'did you drink the prep?' I thought long and hard about telling them to shove the prep up their own arses but I didn't, I told them I managed to get through a prep even though I threw up a bit. They all were concerned about me throwing up (how kind of you - why weren't you concerned WHEN I was throwing up???).
I was sedated and went through the procedure and came out clean as a whistle, not a single sign of anything. YAY! Go me! ^_^ And now, I can wait another 8 years before I have to go through this fiasco again....
So thanks going out to (of course) my wonderful husband who took care of me and put up with me through this, to God for giving me a clean bill of health colon-wise, and a very special thanks to my pharmacist to whom I am going to personally deliver a thank you note.
As for the world renowned place....I think it's time to shop for a new hospital...I am really tired of being treated like I don't know or don't have control over my own body - you don't know more than me just because you sat through lectures and have your name embroidered on your white coat.
Labels: Cleveland Clinic Sucks, Colonoscopy, Health, Healthcare
posted by Colette at 6:56 AM
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