Tuesday, December 29, 2009

A Winter's Tale

Peace on Earth. Goodwill to All.

Our holiday began with a celebration of the anniversary of my engagement to my beloved.

I was not (and have not) been feeling well; fighting off a nasty virus. So that evening I was probably not in good shape. However, my beloved, always one to rise to any occasion created a ceremonial blessing for our rings and wrote out a lovely prayer.

I had Christmas eve off and this was our Christmas with the kids. It was a nice morning, calm and relaxed. There was no feeding frenzy – Erin’s kids are really wonderful and so we all enjoyed opening gifts quietly. I hope my husband enjoyed his gifts.

He gave me diamond earrings – which was a total surprise, even though I was jokingly hinting at wanting them – I was really taken by surprise at this extravagant gift.

I ended up spending some time running around and unfortunately, we were not able to have a ‘special’ meal with the kids before it was time to send them back to their mom’s house. Erin and I had a quiet dinner together and then spent the night loving each other.

Christmas morning was nice – quiet and peaceful. We prepared to have friends over for a dinner. My son was also planning on stopping over.

It turns out our friend Bill was running behind schedule but we had a pleasant surprise to learn he was going to bring another friend (Ken) with him. We were also happy that one of our close friends from church, Dan, showed up as well to wish us a Merry Christmas. These are the types of celebrations I like best – where we have an open house and people stop in – it’s very relaxed and a lot of fun.

We had a nice dinner and sat down to watch the brilliant sleeper hit ‘Death at a Funeral; (totally hysterical) and then my son showed up. So all in all it was a nice day with great friends and family and lots of love.

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I have visions of a future – unfortunately, this future costs money. Typically is it about having a house somewhere out in the country in a ‘manor’ of sorts, where we have room to hold our loved ones should they decide to spend time with us. We have fireplaces, a big kitchen and a nice property. I have dogs, cats, a barn, horses and sheep. I want a working farm – I want a place away from everything where I can focus on being creative in whatever form that takes.

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I am not trying to say I am not happy. This is a ‘vision’ not a reality. I get tired of the rat race. I get tired of plodding along through life and the work-a-day doldrums that end up colouring every other aspect of my existence. Perhaps it is selfish to want such a life and perhaps it’s not the life my love wants to lead (and this does indeed matter to me – for I don’t want to do this without him by my side) – but like me – I think he too would be happy to have such a life. We were outside after the snow had fallen the other night – just us in the total hush of the night, newly fallen snow all around and he turned to me and told me that this was how the world was suppose to be: quiet.

I couldn’t agree more.

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Quotes

"We have places of fear inside of us, but we have other places as well - places with names like trust and hope and faith. We can choose to lead from one of those places, to stand on ground that is not riddled with the fault lines of fear, to move toward others from a place of promise instead of anxiety."
~ Parker Palmer

Please grant me the ability to remember this and live by this sentiment always.

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Monday, December 28, 2009

Elementary my dear Watson

I SO want to go see this...

...more on the wonderful Christmas stuff later

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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Meh...

Promised herself she'd be in bed before 10 one of these night...obviously lying to herself...

So many feelings right now - thoughts flying around my head - reverberations - too much to hold - not enough clarity to write - ugh I hate this - I need a muse - they always talk about men having muses but women? I had one once - he's gone now...I wish I could conjure him up again - my magic fails me these days...

I left my dreams on your pillow so I am stealing it back...

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Just an aside...

....really to myself...

I need to clean up the blog a bit methinks....

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Ya know - I just want to say some things that would probably land me in a lot of hot water...(not that I've ever really cared enough to censor myself - why start now?)...but I am way more mature now or some such shit...

I find leadership skills in certain sectors sorely lacking when they are truly needed.

Facebook accounts for dogs???? Um...OK now I've heard everything...

Oh yeah - have I told you how happy I am I married Erin - yeah I know ho-friggin-hum boring - but it's true and tomorrow night we are celebrating the anniversary of him asking - cause we still do cute stuff like that...go us.

Carry on.

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Jingle Jams: A Holiday Mix From NPR Music : NPR

Jingle Jams: A Holiday Mix From NPR Music : NPR

Some holiday music to wrap gifts to...

Cat hides in jacket sleeve

Cat hides in jacket sleeve video

It's really cute...but why do I get the feeling the person put the cat in the sleeve on purpose.

Cats - hours of entertainment for free...

Microsoft Word sale prohibited as of Jan. 11, fix promised : Christopher Null : Yahoo! Tech

Monday, December 21, 2009

A blessed Solstice

Happy Yule. May you all have a blessed Winter Solstice.

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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Reflections

The snow is softly falling outside. Somewhere in my house, I can hear Christmas music playing. I just finished wrapping presents for my beloved and I decided to sneak a moment (or ten) to write.

This past year has obviously been filled with joys and sorrows. But still in my heart there is a well spring of hope that everything will be OK for me, for those I love.

Last night my husband took me out on a date to see the Gauguin exhibit at the museum. I had a wonderful time - just being with Erin like that gives me so much happiness.

Recently, he's been working on a project to help me to give a special gift to my siblings....he wrote about it on his journal and I sobbed like a baby over what he wrote. I am so lucky to have Erin in my life. Somehow, he helps me bear my crosses a little easier. I love him (still) so very much. It's good to know we love each other enough to still want to date and do all the romantic things that keep a relationship alive.

I am reminiscing about how 3 years ago on December 23rd he asked me to marry him - so much has happened since then - and I remain so glad I said yes to his proposal.

To all of you I send out wishes for a blessed Yule-tide season, and I bright, healthy, happy and prosperous New Year.

Joyeaux Noel
Colette

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Thursday, December 03, 2009

Excerpt: 'The Collected Stories Of Lydia Davis' : NPR

Excerpt: 'The Collected Stories Of Lydia Davis' : NPR

Wow....some of this is just amazing....

Best Books Of 2009 : NPR

Best Books Of 2009 : NPR

LOL - right - because I need more books like I need a hole in my head....

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

What's next for Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods? - Love Sex on Shine

What's next for Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods? - Love Sex on Shine

Well done article...nicely thought out...

While I don't even pretend to know how awful it must be to live your life under the magnifying glass of public scrutiny at every turn (the price of fame I suppose) - I can certainly understand and identify with what this family must be going through....

I am not about to judge Mrs. Woods for any of her actions in this - I myself have 'been there, done that' and I can tell you that I never had to do it with everyone watching me - although I did chronicle it in this forum and I can tell you now I am not proud of everything I did or said - but I know that my rage was blind and hell hath no fury etc., etc....

They say that trust, once breached, is destroyed for good....here's hoping that 'they' are wrong (as always), and that somehow there is a way to get through such things and come out better on the other side...I still work on my own trust issues and I can tell you the scars take a long time to heal and it wreaks havoc on your psyche.

May this family, which has hitherto been able to avoid being in the spotlight be able to work through these very personal issues in peace.

It never ceases to amaze me how harshly we judge celebrities when we ourselves can't manage to be much better in our own lives....

For those of you who hang on this and feed off of it like the greedy vultures you are I say - mind your own business and get a fucking life.

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"I can tell you what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown"

Just some commentary....

I was trying to find Advent Calendars for my step-kids - the kind that have little chocolates in them....

You could order them on-line but I needed them a bit more immediately. So I went to Target. Lo and behold they had them...but they were not named 'Advent Calendars' they were called 'Countdown to Christmas'....

Um...yeah....

So my comment is this - if you are going to use the word 'CHRIST' in the title - why not go the extra mile and make it what it actually is - an advent calendar? We have to sanitize everything for your protection these days. It's OK to say Happy Hanukkah or Happy Kwanzaa - but Merry Christmas - no friggin' way - that simply not PC.

I am not the type to rave about Christian stuff - in fact usually I am on the other side of the fence - but I do believe in calling a spade a spade and I am kind of sick of the reverse discrimination of things....

So be brave marketing guys....grab that 'Christian' market and run with it....

Gospel of Luke . 2:8-14

"'8And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. 10And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. 12And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. 13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, 14Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"


"....THAT'S what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown...."

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