"Through the Looking Glass" - A re-post

Once upon a time (indeed) - I used to write under another pseudonym...

I am posting this because I have ANOTHER post to make soon - and so the journey continues
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"Through the Looking Glass"

By Rhiannon

I saw an interesting ad recently in one of the alternative press runs that Cleveland has to offer. It was one of those box ads on the last page and the advertisement was aimed at people "Who hate church but love God". I found this ad to be a bit disconcerting. (I am glad the person placed the ad and I am not offended by the ad at itself). It simply made me wonder about my own experience. I mean is that why I left the church? Because I hated church? I eventually had to admit it was not the 'church' I hated. It was the image of God that church was trying to 'sell' me.

Church in and of itself was nice. I was nice being able to go socialize with people after mass on Sunday; it was nice to go into a place where they lit candles and burned frankincense, with stained glass windows and organ music.

I left because I could no longer deal with the hypocrisy. I left because the promise was fading and more often than not, I was left feeling empty and sad. I left because I was sick and tired of hearing them ask for money instead of nurturing my budding soul. I left because I did not feel that women were treated with the same respect as men.

I'd like to think that there is a church out there with walls and windows and a roof that acts the way a church should act. Acts as a haven from the world, as a place where we put aside our differences and treat one another with love and respect. As a place where even the poorest of the poor help people in need. A church where people aren't expected to empty their pockets blindly, but willingly - and if they have no money to offer, they offer their services/help instead.

I hope and pray that there is a church out there where 'Christian sensibility' has not been replaced by uptight morality; where all ideas are given credence - and even the young have a say. Where women are allowed to officiate without fear of ostracism. A progressive church that is active in its community without being judgmental. A church where love and honor between consenting adults is not a sin - even if those adults are of the same sex. And if those adults wish to be married in a religious ceremony - I pray for a church that would welcome them.

A priest once told me that God is not bound by the laws of man, nor is he bound by man's words. Now that I am older, I would like to ask that nice man why exactly he thought those laws offered up by his church were the 'only' ones that had to be followed. I tried to be good and listen to the teachings being offered to me, it is just that they did not seem to make sense to me and still do not today. Don't get me wrong, it is not that I expect to have my cake and eat it too. I am not looking for an easy way out of a moral dilemma. I am looking for a well-balanced medium.

Any religious person attending a church, or even a minister would perhaps tell me that man/woman is sinful and that we need a church to enforce God's 'rules'. Perhaps we do. However, I do believe there is a story in the Bible that refers to Jesus treating a common whore with great respect. I am left wondering what would happen if a prostitute wandered into a church on a Sunday morning, dressed, as it were in the uniform of the street. Would she be treated the way Mary Magdalene was treated by Jesus? Or would there be an outcry and the sinner asked to remove herself?

I am not knocking any particular church. If you know of a church out there which fits my wish list, please call me or write to me because I would love to attend. But for now I think I will simply worship at my private altar or around my table with my friends and loved ones and share in the communion we create amongst ourselves. You are welcome to join us if you like. We promise not to brain-wash you or ask you for money. We do promise to make your think - that is if you are up for some thinking. Maybe that is part of the problem here - the general complacency of the population. Perhaps we like our theology spoon fed to us by people who deem themselves 'holy' and righteous.

I know my Catholic ancestors are rolling in their graves, but *I* am happy this way. If however I prove to be wrong in the face of St. Peter at the gates of heaven, well the hopefully the God *they* taught me about won't be holding a grudge.

Bright blessings!

The God Chemical: Brain Chemistry And Mysticism : NPR

The God Chemical: Brain Chemistry And Mysticism : NPR

This...in conjunction with the PBS special . 'We Shall Remain' that I am currently watching - all of this promises to be much food for thought....

Faith...

I’ve been thinking lately (especially of late) – about faith. About my experiences and how they have shaped me.

I was born and raised Catholic. In some ways I had no say so in the matter. I was baptized by a nurse who thought I was going to die – I don’t know why she took it upon herself to do this – she must have realized my family was Catholic – in this day and age she would have probably been sued for doing such a thing. I am not even sure if it even ‘counted’ (although when I was ‘taught’ about Catholicism I was taught that ANY Catholic in good standing can baptize someone else – perhaps that has changed) – I was formally christened about a month after my birth.

As a youngster I was very much into being ‘holy’ although I am sure my behaviour bespoke a different sort of ‘vibe’. When I announced in 4th grade that I wanted to be a nun, my mother promptly informed me ‘they wouldn’t have you, C -, you are too bad’ – mainly cause I was always in rebellion, questioning, misbehaving.

When I think about what I treasured, held sacred from my faith, several things come to mind.

The rituals of the church were always a comfort to me (they still are). Certain rituals rank higher than others.

Mainly, a lot of the rituals center around Lent: The Stations of the Cross, the burning of incense, Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and then Easter Sunday hold special significance to me…(sometimes laughingly I think that perhaps it’s a ‘Goth Chick’ kind of thing…).

The only other part of the Catholic church that resonates that strongly with me are the stories of the Saints. I used to pour over their histories. I was fascinated by the Saints. By what drove them to be so ‘different’, to suffer, and to be willing to put their very lives at risk for their faith/their love of God.

I would ‘romanticise’ their experiences – even though they were often tortured and killed because of their faith (again probably a ‘Goth’ thing here). I could tell you how St. Catherine of Alexandra died (the Catherine Wheel), of how St. Lucy lost her eyes – lots of martyr stuff – pretty heady stuff for a little girl.

Now my faith has become something quieter. Something that I feel strongly about yet am also at times tested on (as are all of us who profess to be of a certain religious denomination) – there are many things over the years that have tested my faith – and there are just as many things that have served to make me turn to it time and time again to get me through. I pray a lot. I ask for guidance a lot. I ask for patience a lot. I ask for my fears to be removed (this one gets a lot of attention). I am also always and forever being thankful for the wonderful people in my life, for my very life, for all that I am give (even those things that I *don’t* particularly want - for the tests of character and the sorrows/tragedies are just as important as the good events).

I know I am a rebel (duh) – I know I am stubborn, willful, and headstrong. My mom was probably right – had I become a nun I’d have turned the convent on its ears – but then who knows, maybe that's the kind of thing needed when it comes to faith.

Jesus was a radical and revolutionary as well – he flew in the face of convention, he questioned authority. I’d have been in good company.